Patti Branch
  • Female
  • Columbus, IN
  • United States
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About Me:
I am a 42 year old mother of 3 (24, 22 and 10) and grandmother of 2 (3 and 7 months). I work as a social worker. I am a widow-too soon-and not handling it as well as everyone thinks such a strong woman as myself should be handling it.
About my Loss:
I lost my husband of 13 years to Amyloidosis. He had been diagnosed with a genetic lung disease 10 years ago, and was told then he had a 10 year prognosis. He was set up to be put on the lung transplant list next month and we were hopeful that we would have years left together. He didn't die from this lung disease and was just diagnosed with Amyloidosis an hour before he died. Everyone thinks I and my children should have been prepared because we knew he wouldn't live as long as most others, but it still was a shock and it still hurts...Brad was my life, my love and my strength.

Patti Branch's Blog

Roller Coaster Ride?

I am having such a hard time with my husband's loss. Some days I am just fine, feel pretty normal, and then other days I cannot function at all and just want to cry. I have yet to make it a full week at work, I get up some mornings and I am just overwhelmed with grief. I try to push through it, some days I can, but some days (like today) my heart is too heavy and I stay home and cry. When will I be able to function normally again? I have never been an emotional person and this sadness is so…

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Posted on February 15, 2012 at 3:26pm — 3 Comments

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At 8:13pm on February 15, 2012, Lisa S. said…

yw,hope this day is treating u well:)

At 6:38pm on February 15, 2012, anna l. said…

Hi Patti.  I am so sorry you are now a member of this group.  But Im glad you found this site.  Everyone has been so supportive to me, allowing me to just be in whatever mood Im in with no judging or worries.  That is such a huge thing. 

I cant imagine anyone is expecting you to be "OK" only 4 weeks into this journey, and if they are they are very wrong.  At four weeks the shock and numbness will have barely worn off.  I have to say I dont even remember that first month or two and I know I was sooo not ok.  Please keep taking it one day at a time and there will be times you have to go one breath at a time.  Give yourself permission to grieve for the love you lost, and dont put pressure on yourself to meet anyones expectations!

At 4:24pm on February 15, 2012, Amanda Ab said…

Hi Patti,

Sorry for your loss. And I can sure understand the rollercoster feeling. I too have days when I cannot function, like today. And just want to go home and cry out until I no longer have tears.

 

Take Care,

At 1:12am on February 15, 2012, Lisa S. said…

i'm so sorry.life sure is hard.and u r right,nothing can prepare us for loss.take care:)

 
 
 

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