Is loneliness an issue for you?

When Lily died I missed her with all my heart and soul; but I wasn't lonely. I still had my husband. Our conversations filled in some of the gaps in my life that being without Lily left behind.

Recently, however, I have been without my husband. I still have Summer and Riley to play with during the day but in the evenings I am struck with a new and unnervingly overwhelming feeling of loneliness.

After losing Lily and the trauma of watching her go through chemotherapy and having my own traumatic miscarriage during that time, I have recently wondered why I would need to endure more heartache? Surely I had had my fill of grief and the sun was just going to shine on me for the rest of my days.

The other night, amidst my tears and anguish and panic, I realised that it was perhaps just another layer of grief that I am meant to come to understand. How can I truly help others if I don't understand the fullness of what they are experiencing?

Loneliness is quiet and still. But do you know what else is in the quietness and stillness? Lily. My lovely Lily. So I decided that this loneliness I feel is to be replaced with "Lily time". Now, I sit and contemplate Lily. I talk to her and I wait for her essence to arrive. Then I listen to what she has to say to me.

Now I'm not lonely anymore.

Lots of love

 

Views: 103

Tags: Death, after, afterlife, and, bereavement, cancer, child, communication, connection, death, More…dreams, faith, feelings, grief, growth, health, heaven, hope, inspiration, loss, love, meditation, mental, mothers, soul, spirit

Comment

You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!

Join Online Grief Support - A Social Community

Comment by Erica Farrimond on December 31, 2013 at 8:20pm

Hi CJ, I'm so sorry about your lovely man passing over. I know he will be trying to make his presence felt. Have you tried meditating? Even just sitting for twenty minutes and breathing deeply qualifies. During this time you will have little flashes of thought pop into your mind that you weren't expecting. This is how he will try to get messages to you, when you have slowed your thoughts to the point where he can get his love for you across. I hope this helps. xx

Comment by CJ on December 31, 2013 at 7:53pm

Erica,

I know what you mean about feeling the loneliness.  I lost the man I loved 2 months ago and I feel so lonely without him.  I like the perspective that you gave about replacing "Lonely"time with "Lily" time.  You said that you talk to her and wait for her essence to arrive.  I have longed to feel Pat's essence as I talk to him.  I haven't yet. I haven't dreamed about him either.  Will I?  What can I do  to feel his essence the way you feel Lily's?

Thank you for your caring words,

CJ

Groups

Latest Activity

Theresa Williams is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
yesterday
Welcome Them!
johnyosin updated their profile
yesterday
bruno cesar belesso replied to Naomi Kolczak's discussion loss of husband
"I lost my daughter to leukemia, and the pain changed my life forever. Learning to live with this loss has not been easy, but I chose to turn my grief into something meaningful. Today, I create oil paintings on canvas of loved ones who have passed…"
Feb 24
bruno cesar belesso left a comment for Sasha Moshko
"I lost my daughter to leukemia, and the pain changed my life forever. Learning to live with this loss has not been easy, but I chose to turn my grief into something meaningful. Today, I create oil paintings on canvas of loved ones who have passed…"
Feb 24
bruno cesar belesso replied to Entony's discussion Movies about grief that actually understand loss — any recommendations?
"I lost my daughter to leukemia, and the pain changed my life forever. Learning to live with this loss has not been easy, but I chose to turn my grief into something meaningful. Today, I create oil paintings on canvas of loved ones who have passed…"
Feb 24
bruno cesar belesso commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"I lost my daughter to leukemia, and the pain changed my life forever. Learning to live with this loss has not been easy, but I chose to turn my grief into something meaningful. Today, I create oil paintings on canvas of loved ones who have passed…"
Feb 24
bruno cesar belesso joined Jon-Paul Ackerman's group
Thumbnail

Lost My Spouse...

Feb 24
3389 Comments
bruno cesar belesso commented on Steph's group How to move on...
"I lost my daughter to leukemia, and the pain changed my life forever. Learning to live with this loss has not been easy, but I chose to turn my grief into something meaningful. Today, I create oil paintings on canvas of loved ones who have passed…"
Feb 24

© 2026   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service