There are times I feel kind of silly, like right now. I mourn her physical presence, I miss her smile and her favorite lavender scent but I just realized that I feel her still. It's like my sister is right here with me, the way she's always been. It's like she's asking me, "Who are you mourning? I never left you. I told mummy and daddy that you had to have been adopted, why else am I explaining this to you." If she were here physically, she'd crack up at my expense then call me her baby and give me a massive hug.

I also came to a conclusion about love and life. Love is such a powerful thing. So huge. We love so deeply when we are alive. We form loving bonds with people which are nurtured and strengthened through some of the trying and painful things in life. Why would something that sustains you through life, which brings you so much of joy, ever be thought or even for one second be believed to be lost? It's not possible that something like love is that easily destroyed, not when it is what get's us through life and gives us hope. My sister was an anchor and a joy to me, she is not lost to me. 

My husband tried to ease my loneliness the other day by saying, "Love, firstly the two of you shared the same womb. Can't get any closer than that. Secondly, you shared the same faith. You grew up in each others pockets for heaven's sake and even after you were all grown up, you were never far behind one another. Whether it was where you lived, or where you worked, you were never far apart. What makes you think she'd leave you now? What makes you think that you are apart now? When you made a few wrong choices or didn't do what was expected of you, she still loved you and still accepted you as her sister.

So not you, not even she can change the bond you both share. You tried when you were younger when you got mad at one another, but you could never stay apart for long am I right? So don't think for one second that you're apart now. You both are always together."

My sister believed in love, even when she'd been hurt and disillusioned. She was always a young girl at heart, she never gave up on love.

I encourage all sisters out there to never give up on having a relationship with your sister. It is the most important, truthful and real one you'll have of all human relationships. A sister will stand by you, she'll fight for you, she'll believe in you. She'll set you straight when you're wrong and she'll tell you what no-one else wants to tell you, but through it all she will love you and everything she does is because she loves you like no-one else can. 

Never, ever let anyone come between two sisters. The relationship you share with her is more important than that because she became an extension of you the day she was born. You can't hurt her without hurting yourself. 

My sister is a part of me, she had a hand in shaping me. She is a part of my make-up as a person. I thank God everyday for her. When I think of her, I think God must have really loved me. My only sister was a jewel.