It's been one and a half years since my sister and best friend left me to be in heavenly places. This coming weeking will be the second birthday of hers that I cannot celebrate.

 

There are some nights when I lie alone, I can see her so clearly. I see what she looked like when she smiled, what she looked like when she slept, and what she looked like when she was with me. We both had a content look on our faces. We were happy to be in each other's company.

 

I also…

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It's been so hard sis. Everyday I wait for you to knock on the door and say,"Hey baby girl. Miss me? What's for supper?". I am with you Mandy, every second of every day, even when I'm drowning in work, I'm still with you. I eat and remember how you taught me to enjoy our meals together. I sleep and I think about you in your funky pj's. I wash my hair and think about how I hate my shower because it's not as great as the one in your house. What am I going to do? Life doesn't feel livable anymore.… Continue

You bought me this at our church bookstore just over a year before you could leave me. Today I keep it with me and wonder why these words seem like you were saying goodbye to me. 

Steady your steps with faith,

set your eyes on hope,

and remember the important thing is to move.

Let your heart lead you forward 

let your dreams keep you going.

And if you get weary or discouraged

if you feel lonely, remember this:

Life is your…

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The following is a quotation from the words of Dr. W. B. Hinson, speaking from the pulpit a year after the commencement of the illness from which he ultimately died:  "I remember a year ago when a man in this city said, 'You have got to go to your death.'  I walked out to where I live, five miles out of this city, and I looked across at that mountain that I love, and I looked at the river in which I rejoice, and I looked at the stately trees that are always God's own poetry to my soul.  Then in… Continue

Baby girl,

Mum and Dad came to visit for a few days recently. I finished work, dragged my butt into the shower and then made my way over to see them. Dad was asleep on the couch and mum looked beautiful. She had just had a haircut and she looked so much like you in the light she was sitting in. I didn't want to walk in. I kissed her and she smiled and hugged me. Then I went to dad and kissed him on his forehead. Sis, you know dad right? He was never somebody anybody could…

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Mandy,

The strangest urge to want to hold your things close to me. To surround myself with all of your stuff. I'm sitting here at work and Thank God I'm alone otherwise people would think I'd lost it for sure. I was laughing to myself...not just normal laughing but the cracked up...tears start flowing kind of laughter. The kind you and I used to share. I was thinking about the way you'd be howling with laughter if you could see what I planned to do when I have a moment to…

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My sister and I could talk a mile a minute or we could enjoy complete quiet by reading books together, all was done in companionship. Like the fit of an old bedroom slipper that you will never throw away because it just feels so you! When we didn't have anything to talk about we re-lived our teenage years and laughed until we cried. Our favorite past time was hiring a couple of comedies from the local video store, buying a whole bunch of junk food that we knew we were NOT going to just…

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My older sister. A shaping tool, like the one wood carver's use to make sculptures. 

We never realize it but sometimes the people who get underneath our skin the most...like an annoying sibling who has absolutely no fear of telling us exactly what they think of us, are the best thing that could happen to us. It's only when they're not there anymore you realize that every time you scraped yourself against them in a debate or a squabble, they were shaping you in ways you didn't even…

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There are times I feel kind of silly, like right now. I mourn her physical presence, I miss her smile and her favorite lavender scent but I just realized that I feel her still. It's like my sister is right here with me, the way she's always been. It's like she's asking me, "Who are you mourning? I never left you. I told mummy and daddy that you had to have been adopted, why else am I explaining this to you." If she were here physically, she'd crack up at…

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