this wil be the 1st holiday without my son. it will be 2 month on the14 that he passed away. It has already started to hurt. it will also be 30 yrs since my mom died. i'm always  alone on holidays and it just make i  t worse this yr. I feel like im so alone. None of my family has lost a child an they don't understand the pain that i'm going through. it just doesn't go away over night. my other son isdoing the man thing where they try and be  stong and do not want to talk about…