Before my sister's death I thought I believed in God.

Right after her death I was very angry with God. Angry that he allowed that to happen, angry that he didn't help her hold on a little longer for help, angry that he took her. Then I realized that she died because of her boyfriends free will and I know God has no control over free will. And I realized that after what her boyfriend did, if she had survived those stab wounds and lived, she would have had to live with the knowledge and…

Not terribly far from where I live a pregnant 33 year old woman was stabbed to death by a long time ago ex boyfriend. Her young daughter and step-daughter were in the apartment with her when this happened.

I did not know this woman or her family but when I saw this on the news my heart broke. I thought to myself, "What the hell is going on in the world? Where are all of these crazy people coming from that think it's ok to hurt others?!"

I was angry, I was sad, I…

If there is anything good that I can take away from tragedy, it's that I need to try harder to maintain the relationships I have with the people I love.

That being said, I'm having a hard time being around my mother. I'm not angry with her but I feel uncomfortable around her right now. I know she is going through really intense pain and having a really hard time with my sister's death. My heart breaks for her and I wish I could make it all go away. I know I don't see or talk to my mom…

Today while I was eating lunch I had the television on, just as I always do.

I can't even remember what show I was watching now..

I had my head down, looking at my lunch- not in a sad mopey way but looking at what I was picking up with my fork. All of a sudden I heard Becky's voice. For real, not in my mind. I looked up and there she was. As beautiful as ever and alive. 

Months ago her and her boyfriend went on the show Judge Judy over a dispute with breeding their dog.…

I've been confused before about many things. I was confused by what happened to my sister; I didn't, don't and probably will never understand why. Her killer was someone who claimed to love her but I know in my heart of hearts that he couldn't have possibly loved her. Looking back now I see, the way he participated (or lack thereof) in their relationship, the way he spoke to her- he didn't love her. He didn't know what love was. I will always be confused and never understand how someone…