CindyA
  • Female
  • Canfield, OH
  • United States
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About Me:
I'm a 43 yr old mother of a 17 yr old son. I am a counselor by trade but not ready to engage in that process myself so I decided to join a group for support from people that know what loss is
About my Loss:
I lost my husband of 19 years to a sudden heart attack he was 49. He kissed me & went to work one night & I was awoken by the police at 3AM & my life was changed irrevocably

CindyA's Blog

Things you realize

As I went through paperwork today I find it amazing that our whole life fits in a box.our births .our marriage the birth of our son a lifetime of memories all neatly plaCed in a box .. I cried while I went through those papers as memories flooded my mind memories of happiness and sadness .. Our life ..now I need to start a new box for our new life as I systematically remove u from it all and with each thing I do the hole in my soul gets bigger and bigger ..I don't want a new box with new things… Continue

Posted on June 14, 2016 at 9:47pm

Where is my peace

I don't understand.. I want to find peace from all this sorrow. Everyone says how strong I am but do I really have a choice?? I miss my husband my mother my grandparents and brother all gone but yet somehow I remain here. I think to myself everyday why .. Why am I here .. Am I meant to suffer like this forever .. There are holes in my soul for every love that I have lost and now my husband .. My protector the one person that I never thought I would lose . I really thought I'd die before him ..… Continue

Posted on June 13, 2016 at 9:54pm — 1 Comment

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At 10:05am on June 14, 2016, kathy kwasnica said…

I am so sorry Cindy. I lost my fiancee on May 19th. We were together for about a year. 

I found him in our apartment. I was told it was a heart attack. We had just moved in and he was complaining of pains near his chest. I equated it to the move.

I am so wracked with guilt. 

I was just me and him. 

Like you my guy was my rock. And now he is gone. Everyone says it takes time. It has only been a month for me but some days I feel like why did he go and not me.

I have RA and have lost other people. I deserve to go more than he did.

I guess I am just commiserating.

I am SO sorry 

 
 
 

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