Comment

Comment by Tildyc on April 2, 2015 at 11:54pm

I'm sorry you guys – wish I could do something to make all this go away for all of us.

Comment by George H on April 2, 2015 at 8:57pm

Mary and I spent a Christmas and new year in the hospital but we were together when ever she was in the hospital I lived there at the end of 2014 we spent 47 days there I just don't know how to keep doing this

Comment by Tildyc on April 2, 2015 at 8:51pm

George-
It saddens me that you're so alone. If I was a millionaire I would fly us all to a little cabin I know about here in Alaska and we just spend Easter there. No one could bother us or give us any baloney about grieving. And we would all be able to talk to each other.

But at least we have this thread.

Comment by Tildyc on April 2, 2015 at 8:49pm

John T- your story about Christmas sounds like a freaking nightmare. I can't imagine how you got through that. That's the kind of stuff that would send me completely over the edge I believe. And I run into the same thing now – whenever I bring up Mark I just get polite smiles but no interest in the conversation. Like they're uncomfortable that I even bring it up. And these were supposed to be some of his closest friends. WTH?

Comment by Dianne M. on April 2, 2015 at 8:34pm

I dont know who I am either. I was one half of a pair...us , we always together never saw one of us without the other. Now it is just me. I have now clue how to even act sometimes.

Our life together was wonderful and fun and without him it is empty and sad.

Comment by George H on April 2, 2015 at 8:33pm

I'm alone most of the time so I don't have to deal with people but I do have to deal with the what if I did that did I do all I could loneliness is a real killer

Comment by George H on April 2, 2015 at 8:25pm

We were never able to do a whole lot but that didn't matter we had each other so we didn't need much now what I need I can never have again

Comment by Tildyc on April 2, 2015 at 8:12pm

These memories are so very precious to me. They used to define the very person that I was. But now – I don't have that anymore and I don't know who I am anymore.

Comment by Tildyc on April 2, 2015 at 8:09pm

Well here it is – our date night. Thursdays is always our date night because it was my official Friday and our show would come on in the evening. We would make sure not to have any other plans on Thursday nights except each other. Of course you would make something very yummy to eat for dinner. And then we would enjoy your show with popcorn and milk duds. Such simple things made us ridiculously happy.

Now – tonight – I'm going to watch our show by myself on our date night. And it makes me want to cry.

And I've been thinking about why I have been posting all these personal memories we had. And I think it's because I have nobody left to share them with. Mark is gone. And since he's not here to talk about those things with or participate in those things with me – I guess I just need to tell somebody.

My life has become so empty and lonely. This existence is going to unravel me I'm afraid.

Comment by Sandy Elaine Norris on April 2, 2015 at 6:44pm

I wish I could find a hole to crawl into until Monday. But I think Mark's youngest son and his wife are coming for a visit. I don't have a car and my husband is buried in a military cemetery 1 1/2 hours away. I think I will get to finally go for a visit. I've seen his headstone on find a grave .com but it's not the same

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