Comment

Comment by George H on April 3, 2015 at 8:15pm

I would give up my soul for just one more day with her

Comment by George H on April 3, 2015 at 8:12pm

John I did the same thing I always worried she might not be well enough

Comment by George H on April 3, 2015 at 8:09pm

Music is hard for me also mary was a singer we worked in rhe studio together and on stage just thinking about hurts so bad

Comment by Sandy Elaine Norris on April 3, 2015 at 7:52pm

I haven't been able to watch N.C.I.S. We loved to sit on Tuesday night's and watch it.

Comment by morgan on April 3, 2015 at 7:26pm

Weird to hear others cant watch the shows we used to watch with our loved ones.  I thought that was just me.  I still can't watch House Hunters two years on.  Likely never will.  Music is also a bad trigger for me.  Must be something in the notes.  Depends on the song.  Might have never been one that was important to us but certain ones in the beat or rhythm or something sets me off and back i fall into the hole.  

Comment by Jason on April 3, 2015 at 7:17pm

I'm torn between living my life as I know Amanda would have wanted, being with someone missing the closeness even though I know i'd resent them for not being her, or wanting to follow her into the darkness...I don't know what to do

Comment by Sandy Elaine Norris on April 3, 2015 at 6:39pm

It's been a very hard couple of days. I've lost two wonderful relatives in just 24 hours. My daddy has also taken a turn for the worst. Grieving for my husband...just too much

Comment by George H on April 3, 2015 at 6:11pm

I have to agree with that

Comment by George H on April 3, 2015 at 6:03pm

John I'm sure mary knew also she told her kids and go on to take care of me they call but I don't think they really understand the loneliness and pain

Comment by Trina Mamoon on April 3, 2015 at 5:15pm

Dear John T and Lynden,

I lost my beloved husband Joseph eight months ago (it'll be to the day tomorrow). Every single day is a struggle, and reminds me of the mythic character Sisyphus who was condemned to roll a huge stone uphill and he would do it everyday only to find the stone at the bottom of the cliff every morning. It's an uphill battle for those of us who have lost a beloved spouse/life partner. And everyone else around us who hasn't, including even loving family members and good friends have absolutely NO CLUE to what this experience is really like. Unless and until one has walked in our shoes, one doesn't know how it feels to be the surviving spouse. I see other people close to me laugh and have a good time oblivious to what I ma feeling inside. To be honest, from the outside I am doing pretty well. After taking a semester's medical leave, I am back to teaching and my students and colleagues don't have any idea of the depth of my loneliness, the extent of my suffering. How can they? It's between me and my wonderful Joseph.

It's so true about watching other TV shows, the ones I didn't watch with Joseph. Now Downton Abbey, Criminal Minds, and Law and Order are very hard to watch. The only one I can still watch now is Downton Abbey. But ow I miss all the comments that we would make back and forth and all the witty and funny things Joseph would say.

Everyday there are so many reminders everywhere, big and small, that are painful as they speak of the absence of our beloved one. I don't think this longing, yearning, and pain will ever go away. it will probably be less over time, but it'll always be here in our hearts. And that's how our spouses live on, they live on because we still love them just as before and nothing will ever change that love.

Wishing all of you her on this forum peace.

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