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Comment by Trina Mamoon on April 8, 2015 at 8:39pm

Tildyc,

It's so true what you say here. At night this is exactly how I console myself. Every day that passes is one less day here living this miserable existence, and one more day closer to being with the love of my life who gave meaning to my existence. Taking comfort wherever we can...

Comment by George H on April 8, 2015 at 8:37pm

Can someone tell me why some of these dam fool people just don'tstay quiteinsteadof saying standard death responses 101 you just want to slap the s**t out of them I'm starting to think we need our own conpoun with big steel doors to keep them out

Comment by Tildyc on April 8, 2015 at 8:21pm

Every day that passes, I get one more day closer to my own death. One more day closer to being with my soulmate. One more day closer to freedom. One more day closer to him.

Comment by Trina Mamoon on April 8, 2015 at 6:15pm

For me, this enormous loss of my beloved spouse will continue to bear on me and crush me for the rest of my life. I know that there will be no respite or belief until the day I die. what a sobering and terrible thought to contend with.

Yes, going home at the end of the day--Joseph and I taught at the same U--and not having my darling with whom to process the highs and lows of the day is one of the lowest points of the day (waking up and falling asleep in an empty bed) are the other two most heartbreaking points of the day. Joseph's death has left me half-dead, I will never be the same again, my life is worth very little to me now that I have to live it on my own. My eyes just fill up with tears at the thought how Joseph is not here anymore and I will never see him again. I can't wait for the day when I will be allowed to leave this miserable existence. How long, I wonder?

Comment by George H on April 8, 2015 at 6:05pm

Can'tgo out in public found out today had to have my gson write a check for me don'twant to be around people don'twant to do anything just want to sit in my chair with Mary's dog and wish it all would end

Comment by Tildyc on April 8, 2015 at 6:01pm

John T- I also cry several times a day. In fact I just got through my walking in the door to an empty house from work meltdown. It's a daily occurrence. That's actually one of the hardest times for me. It was when we would discuss and share our day with each other. To lend each other an understanding ear or to celebrate in one another's small daily victories.

There will be more tears for sure later this evening. And of course, I usually cry myself to sleep. This heavy persistent sadness encompasses my entire life and shows no signs of letting up at this point. I'm afraid I'll never be free of it until the day I die.

Comment by Tildyc on April 8, 2015 at 5:36pm

George- yeah I've been running into some financial issues lately myself. Not having the combined income of Mark and I is proving to be difficult.

Comment by George H on April 8, 2015 at 5:01pm

had to go deal with the Benton County tax collector seems that they don't care if your wife passes here as long as you figure out a way to drag some money up to them I'm getting to the point where I need to stay way away from stupid people but I'm sure that just about all of you know how I feel

Comment by Mather on April 8, 2015 at 4:10pm

I lost my husband , best friend 6 months ago. I miss him so much I cry when ever I am alone. This was our second marriage for both of us. We found each other online in a chat room for over 40 and instantly fell in love. There was not one day in 9 years we were apart. Together for 16. I just feel so alone

Comment by Kimboinlimbo on April 8, 2015 at 3:35pm

I lost my husband suddenly and unexpectedly 11 months 3 weeks and 1 day ago. I was in shock for a very long time and when it wore off and reality hit, the feelings of utter devastation were and still are almost too much to bear. It has taken months to get into any form of sleep pattern and I'm still haunted by the events of the day he died. I used to feel happy to my very core; I don't feel like that any more. In losing my husband, I've lost a big part of myself and a future without him seems so bleak.

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