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Comment by Jason on April 10, 2015 at 2:05pm

Today marks three months since I lost my sweet Amanda. Since I lost everything that made me happy and brought me joy. Now I sit in the quite and think of her, think of the times we had and all the times we should have had. I've given up telling people how I feel. All they'd say is "it'll be alright" or "things will get better with time" they can't help and saying anything just makes them feel awkward. Better to just stay quite and deal with my pain myself.
It's our anniversary on tuesday, I was going to recreate our first date, take her into town, out for chinese then on to the comedy club. Finishing of at the hotel she stayed at the first time we met and where we were going to get married.
Now I just sit in the quiet, so so quiet...

Comment by George H on April 10, 2015 at 2:00pm

It was always Mary and I I was her caregiver 24/7 so I have no friends I spend mI st om my time sitting in my chair with her dog wondering what to do

Comment by Dianne M. on April 10, 2015 at 1:54pm

this is just horrid. we had so many plans and I just sit here and look at his picture and cry....I have no kids or siblings...he was all I had...why is he gone....

Comment by George H on April 10, 2015 at 1:52pm

Dianne m I'm alone most of the time so I do understand what your talking about

Comment by Dianne M. on April 10, 2015 at 1:30pm

Yes hell it is I have said that more than once lately. Today is very bad for whatever reason. I hate being here alone and it just lets my mind run wild on all the what if's and why's.....

Comment by Tildyc on April 10, 2015 at 1:20pm

George- yes it's hell. I completely agree with you on this.

Comment by George H on April 10, 2015 at 10:18am

I have always belived that when we die our energy moves to a different plane but I ju st don't go for the god heaven and he'll stuff I think that I am in hell right now

Comment by lost on April 10, 2015 at 4:57am

I'm scared. It's been just over a month since my honey passed. I'm scared of life. I'm scared of death. I'm scared to live without James. I don't know how to be Juanita. I am 57yrs old. I've been someone's wife or mother for 41yrs. I don't know how to be me. Who is me?

Comment by Tildyc on April 10, 2015 at 12:06am

m morgan- HS!!! That's alot of information to take in. But – I do see where you're coming from on this. And it does require a little bit more of my time to absorb and consider it all. Some would call it a far fetched theory but – that's how all scientific fact starts out right? Yes... Thank you m morgan for sharing what you have researched and learned because, it is inspiring.

For me – I've never been what someone would call scientifically inclined. I've dealt with obstacles in that area in my life which has limited me in some ways. But I know what I feel, and I've gained many skills and tools. And in my humbling and painful experience thus far – I have begun to accept the thought as humans/ energy/ souls, we are capable of connections that are beyond what we can completely comprehend in the physical and mental state that we are existing in right now. I am still hurting and grieving constantly. But I'm also constantly searching for answers... And for my Mark.

Comment by morgan on April 9, 2015 at 11:15pm

(PART 2)  So in my more philosophic, introspective moments I try to swallow the bitter pill of an end and stop my crying.  My tears are the waves of my energy, my consciousness spilling out in a physical form a frequency that is helping my body maintain equilibrium but eventually it will be too much for it.  The frequency will at some point need to go to its more fundamental state and my body cells will lose the force of staying in this dimension. I will become a part of the whole again where my energy will be free to travel through the cosmos and connect with the manifestation of love that I was connected to here.  He will be there.  Not in a visceral or supernatural form but in the most fundamental of forms we call energy.   A form more sugggestively visual as a wave where we will ebb and flow just like we did here only in a different dimension.  He’s out there.  The universe is too big for him not to be. 

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