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Comment by Sandy Elaine Norris on April 18, 2015 at 7:10am

I have to go with my siblings this morning to make funeral arrangements for daddy. Having trouble breathing. I can't cry. I feel like I'm in a bubble of grief. I WANT TO SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Comment by Tildyc on April 18, 2015 at 1:43am

That's all I'm doing anymore... Just functioning... Barely.

The future for me looks sad, lonely and hopeless. No matter what I do- whatever motions I go through- the reality is, and always will be- that I have to exist in a life without my Mark.

I try to imagine myself 10, 20, 30 years from now. Still grieving and broken. Just waiting....................................

I feel like a broken record. Repeating the same words and fears over and over again. But it changes nothing. Completely redundant. Hopeless.

Comment by lost on April 17, 2015 at 10:10pm

When I first joined this group I thought no one could feel as bad as me. I was so wrong. I see my feelings in everyone's words. You all say how I feel. So sad we all are. We all lost so much.
I don't know how I can go on. How it I will ever feel like a person again. I feel so utterly empty. I don't think anyone understands but ya'll. I have 4 brothers and 2 sisters. They offer their love and want to help me. But no one knows how....they keep asking how they can help. But, no one can help me. None of them have lost their spouses so they can't understand. No one but ya'll can understand.

Comment by Dianne M. on April 17, 2015 at 9:17pm

gosh I see so much of what i am going through from all of you...So I am NOT crazy. this is what grief looks like....

We can hold on to each other and survive....hang on we are all here for the same reason.

Comment by lost on April 17, 2015 at 9:14pm

I hate this. I hate being so depressed. I hate being without him. I hate. I hate. I hate. Loneliness is so absorbing. It sucks the life out of you. I don't know who I am. I'm so confused about my existence.

Comment by Dianne M. on April 17, 2015 at 9:08pm

Guess I am fortunate that his family is not local....so I just sit here on a Friday night when we would have been at the dance studio where we took lessons dancing and having so much fun....damn it anyway..and so I sit here in the rotten sinking ship

Comment by George H on April 17, 2015 at 8:46pm

John I seem to be going through that same thing with so.e of Mary's family they seem to think I can flip a switch and make the pain stop I'm just staying away from them before things are said that I won't want to take back

Comment by George H on April 17, 2015 at 8:12pm

Dianne I was Mary's caregiver 24/7 I CAN'T leave the house at all now because I can't get my mind to believe she gone tried to go to a grief group yesterday but couldn't stay I just had to get home but the loneliness sets in a I just sink deeper in to this black hole

Comment by Dianne M. on April 17, 2015 at 7:59pm

George lost Don 2/23/15 I had his family for 1 week and his sister stayed with me for a second week. Been alone since...very hard for me . Had not been alone for 20 years...I so hate this..

Comment by Sandy Elaine Norris on April 17, 2015 at 7:56pm

Thank you all for being here for me. Losing my daddy just 3 months after losing Mark is almost more than I can bare. I am thankful for each and every one of you.

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