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Comment by O.L. Cato on March 13, 2016 at 12:30pm

My husband has been gone for eleven weeks today.  I cry each day.  My grown children cannot understand why I still cry and why I probably always will.  Half of me is gone.  There are no words for the pain I feel.

Comment by mo on March 13, 2016 at 11:05am

I'm trying to do things around the house; but i dont know why, his things are everywhere, i dont know how to cope

Comment by Linda Engberg on March 12, 2016 at 6:43am

Hi Cydney,

Welcome, I lost my Husband to cancer almost three years, I agree with you that my "new normal" is living without him. It is pure hell and I can't wait to join him.  

Comment by morgan on March 12, 2016 at 1:30am

Cydney,  Before I try to go get some sleep I wanted to say hello and to say I see that your husband from his picture did something my own husband lived for……….fishing.  Such a beautifully pensive sport connecting with nature at its most base level.  It is one of the things that I miss terribly about my husband.  His connection to nature was so much a part of him and through him my own became more important and I can't tell you how much i miss that.  He bound me to him and through him to our earth.  It was a very spiritual place to inhabit.

I am so sorry you have had to come here but this is probably one of the best places you will find as you wrestle with your feelings.  We are all here for the same reason and we know how much it hurts.  We all feel like a broken mirror.  It's a very sad place to occupy.  It's very very early in your journey.  Even with your background in nursing there is nothing that prepares you for when it comes to your own door.  None of us ever expect this amount of pain and we are all trying to manage it the best we can.  

Take the best care you can.  You will find that it will be excruciatingly painful and hard so take small tiny steps and whatever you get done consider it a victory because your new normal is going to be quite foreign and don't forget to breathe deep.  It will help.

Take care…………morgan

Comment by Cydney Oliver on March 12, 2016 at 1:16am

New member here. Lost my husband of almost 8 years on Feb 3rd. Massive heart attack at home that the medical folks could not reverse. I myself am a nurse and was with him throughout. Even though my brain knows there was nothing I could have done to change the outcome, my heart is still searching for "what ifs". I am like many here, devastated, lost, heartbroken, unable to figure out what my "new normal" could possibly ever be without him. He was my everything. And now I feel I have nothing. Without him, the only thing I know for sure is how incredibly sad I am.

Comment by Linda Engberg on March 6, 2016 at 9:19am

Hi Morgan,

Your comment on Tuesday is exactly how I feel, it will be three years on May 5 that I lost my the love of my life and my family and friends do not understand why I still grieve for him. Thank God for this web-site or I would go crazy.

Comment by morgan on March 6, 2016 at 12:23am

Tonight I am blinded by rage.  I have been struggling every morning and every night by the grief of losing the man who was my world.  I am tired.  I am not going to put up with this forever.  I have been doing this for three years plus and I have decided to do a project that will help me push out more time and get my "things" in a better place to the end of this year but I WILL NOT live like this for a long time.  I just will not and cannot.  Every day I do things to pass the time but it is with so little purpose.  Only to pay the bills.  I will not continue to do this.  I just won't. 

Comment by George H on March 4, 2016 at 7:36am

Thank you Linda it seems like alone and broken are really popular words for us

Comment by Linda Engberg on March 4, 2016 at 7:33am

Belated Birthday wishes George, each speical day hurts along with every other day. Our 35th anniversary is March 14, 35 years and of course will spend it alone. 

Comment by George H on March 3, 2016 at 6:20pm

I just spent another birthday without my wife life really does suck

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