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Comment by Elynn m on July 4, 2016 at 12:25am

Carolyn....so sorry for your loss.    Yes, it can (and at one point will) get lonely.   Stay in contact with family if possible.   You've probably heard the song by Barbara streisand,   "PEOPLE".   The words r so true.  Hope u have at least one close friend u can confide in.  It helps to  talk to someone who is there physically, and able to listen.  It makes a big difference

Comment by Carolyn Byrum on July 4, 2016 at 12:12am

Oh my!my husband of 34 years has only been gone 3 weeks seems you guys have a way of describing the trttible loneliness and profound sadness I feel

Comment by Elynn m on July 3, 2016 at 11:45pm

Actually, I want to go out with people because I know that being alone is the worst thing I can do.   I've started to reach out to old friends.....which is something my husband always did.   Joe always said, reach out to people while u r still able to. Am afraid to reach out to friends that stopped coming around

Comment by Elynn m on July 3, 2016 at 11:35pm

Mary..u are so right about people feeling uncomfortable.   I hope I can be a friend to them when one spouse is gone.   (Don't mean to sound so negative)

Comment by Mary on July 3, 2016 at 11:27pm

Elynn - I know what u mean. Even tho my husband and I spent most of our days together, I had a few close friends. What I find now is they barely call me or when they do its not to "help" me. I know they mean well but I think they are just uncomfortable around me. I'm still having a very hard time and don't wAnt to go out and be with people. But I would love if one would come to my house and spend a little time with me. Either just hearing me out or just being here.
I miss my husband for that. He would just listen to me if I needed to vent or just be here. We didn't have awkward silences. Out time together was my joy.
A friend came over for the first time to visit me and she said she was so nervous to come. I think that's how most feel. I would feel the same if roles were reversed

Comment by George H on July 3, 2016 at 11:26pm

Elynn my wife Mary has been gone a year in 5 months and I know all about the loneliness and I don't hear from anyone still so it doesn't surprise me

Comment by Elynn m on July 3, 2016 at 11:23pm

George..that is so true.   Maybe they don't want to face the fact that everyone will die and almost 50% will have to deal with death of a spouse.  They r probably frightened

Comment by Mary on July 3, 2016 at 11:22pm

Stewart thanks for sharing. Even though it has only been almost 10 weeks that my wonderful Neil passed away unexpectedly I too feel like I need to get busy doing something. I too have great plans for the next day, but when morning comes it's like I get hit with it. Stomach pains, rapid heartbeat, so much sadness. Then I end up doing nothing all day. I think if I could just get back to work I might manage better. I have 3 kids to be living for, I don't want them to think of me as being frail or weak.... But it's so hard. Like you said your life revolved around your wife - me too. Neil was the joy in my day, the love of my life. Everything was ok in the world when I was with him. Glad to hear that you are stepping out a little bit at a time. Good luck

Comment by George H on July 3, 2016 at 11:17pm

Elynn it seems like when you lose your spouse people treat you like you have some kind of disease

Comment by Elynn m on July 3, 2016 at 11:15pm

Anyone else find that friends disappear when u lose your spouse?   I feel so lonely and cannot reach out.  I know they say we should find new friends,   where does anyone start?

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