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Comment by Ammy on January 21, 2014 at 5:42pm

I'd like to share something that gave me a sense of comfort today.  It's strange how certain things on certain days can do that and then on another day you feel nothing, but maybe it will speak to one of you also.  I would have put it in the discussions, but no one seems to join in there.

I came across something written by Gary Wright back in the 70's about a song he wrote so I looked into it more.  

This is part of what he wrote about the song:
Dream Weaver by Gary Wright

During the early '70s while reading more of the writings of Paramahansa Yogananda, I came across a poem called God! God! God!. One of the lines in the poem referred to the idea of the mind weaving dreams and the thought immediately occurred to me, weaver of dreams... Dream Weaver. I wrote it down in my journal of song titles and forgot about it. Several months passed, and one weekend, while in the English countryside, I picked up my journal and came across the title 'Dream Weaver.' Feeling inspired, I picked up my acoustic guitar and began writing. The song was finished in an hour. The lyrics and music seemed to have flowed out of me as if written by an unseen source. After the record was released and became successful many people asked me what the song meant. I really wasn't sure myself and would answer 'it was about a kind of fantasy experience... a Dream Weaver train taking you through the cosmos.' But I was never satisfied with that explanation, and as years went by I began to reflect on what the song actually meant and then it came to me: 'Dream Weaver, I believe you can get me through the night...' was a song about someone with infinite compassion and love carrying us through the night of our trials and suffering. None other than God Himself."

This is the poem he referred to in the writing:

God God God
From the depth of slumber,
As I ascend the spiral stairway of wakefulness,
I whisper
God, God, God!
Thou art the food and when I break my fast
Of nightly separation from Thee
I taste thee and mentally say
God, God, God!
No matter where I go, the spotlight of my mind
Ever keeps turning on Thee;
And in the battle dim of activity my silent war cry
Is ever;
God, God, God!
When boisterous storms of trials shriek
And worries howl at me,
I drown their noises, loudly chanting
God, God, God!
When my mind weaves dreams
With treads of memories,
Then on that magic cloth I do emboss;
God, God, God!
Ever night, in time of deepest sleep,
My peace dreams and calls; Joy! Joy! Joy!
And my Joy comes singing evermore;
God, God, God!
In waking, eating, working, dreaming, sleeping,
Serving, meditating, chanting, divinely loving,
My soul constantly hums, unheard by any;
God, God, God!

And this is the song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cGetpLlufrc

Comment by Ammy on January 21, 2014 at 5:33pm

Thinking of you, Davi.  Hope you felt him with you.  (((Hugs)))

Comment by anne on January 21, 2014 at 4:47pm

Peace to you and your family today, and every day Davi.

Comment by Davi Burford on January 21, 2014 at 4:31pm

Oh Vasanthi that is beautiful thank you we are heading out to put balloons at his site now. Thank you everyone today for the extra prayers and hugs

Comment by Debi M on January 21, 2014 at 4:16pm

I just can't imagine living with this pain the rest of my life. But that is what we all have to do, isn't it? Daily I try to focus on something good - seek some joy, and I swear, I am taken back to that awful day in August all over again. Trying to figure our lives out now, Jane, is important. Our lives have meaning and we must live them. We are all here for you. We all feel the pain and we all support each other here.

Comment by Lynn Williams on January 21, 2014 at 4:10pm

Much love to you Davi and your family

Comment by Vasanthi S on January 21, 2014 at 4:04pm

Davi, specially for you today.. your son is always with you. love.

Comment by Davi Burford on January 21, 2014 at 1:50pm

Thank you Connie for the lighting of the candle. I have decided that we will go and put some balloons at the graveside and also release some with notes if the kids want to. I was debating with myself all morning if I should could or whatever go out there I have not been since the burial. I don't want to be a blubbering mess in front of the kids again but I am sure its going to happen. Hugs to everyone, this site (& those who have found their way here) is on my prayer list

Comment by Vasanthi S on January 21, 2014 at 12:01pm

I am with you all. Connie you said it so well.. the shock wears out and sometimes i think its better to be in shock lifelong.. at least one is numb then... well nothing could be better this way or that. Its two years this December and I try and keep myself busy doing this or that. Connie can understand that without a job it can be hard to keep doing something. For me here I dont even have friends nearby and cant go for walks as it is snowy. Craig says we will go for walks on weekends.  He does all he can to ease this after he gets back from work and on weekends but Only after I get married which will be in mid April can i take the online education tests and then take up some job nearby. Though I have my international driving license I feel a great hesitation in starting to get used to driving here. Its to do with Micku's passing in an accident. I know I have to get over that fear or distaste. Also am not used to the LH Drive. We attend online Vedanta classes so weekends are busy and Tuesday and Wed  late evenings are busy. Now have called people from Craig's office for dinner etc so I get to know more people. Since we live in a wooded area, its very quiet and while its lovely I cant see people outside or any activity which is the opposite of Mumbai from where I come.. :) I keep saying lets just drive down to the neighbors and introduce ourselves etc  or I am going to get fliers made and offer to babysit kids for the next few months.. I put up the poem on fb and some of the comments just showed me how no one has a clue  though  its well meaning . I think now life is about how I can reach out and serve/help others and through that I hope to get some measure of peace.. love to all here ..each and everyone of you are so precious to me.

Comment by Connie K on January 21, 2014 at 11:27am

Hello to everyone here today. My heart is with each and every one of you. Jane and Ammy especially you. You are not alone here - I went to sleep crying and woke up crying. I don't know what to know with the rest of my life. I have no job right now and  things seem so confusing and unfair. I wander around doing this and that, meeting a friend now and then and am kind of stuck until my arm heals. I have way too much time on my hands. Why couldn't my son have it?

Davi I will light a candle for your son tonight with mine for Daniel. He died 3 months before his 18th birthday also. And I am beginning the 2nd year. Teresa like you I was told by others who have gone through this that the 2nd year is harder. I can see why. The shock begins to go and the rawness of the pain resurfaces. All I can do is take each day at a time, try to get outside and walk and look at anything beautiful in the world and try to be grateful for having had him in my life . I have to live for Daniel now, it's figuring out how that's the tough part.

Jane I know that feeling of despair where you just feel nothing matters at all. I am so sorry for your deep pain. But like Lynn said maybe a grief therapist could help even though they can;' change reality. They can offer ways of dealing with it, perhaps you can meet someone you can talk to locally. Oh how I could wrap my arms around you all and make it better for us all. I wish you all strength for the day. And hope I can stop crying long enough to go to my rehearsal....

Dolly - love that pic - you're too funny.

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