Not looking forward to Christmas
It's been a long time since I've posted a Blog on here but I am not looking forward to Christmas I am notBecause the people should be here it's no longer hereSee More
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Dear Lisa, I am so sorry to hear about your niece. You and all your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I would not wish what we have had to go through on any one, especially some one we love. My brother, lost his son, a couple of years before I lost my son, and I know how hard it was for him to watch me go through the pain that he went through. Prayers and hugs for you and your family. Robin
Lisa, I am sorry to hear of your loss. I love the photos of your daughter in her blue gown, so beautiful. Prom night? I am also sorry to hear about your boyfriend abandoning you at this time. I have been through this as well; my bf wasn't available during the time my son was fighting cancer, and I found out later it was because he was online dating! He ended up having a woman from out of state come to stay with him for 5 days, when he couldn't be there for me at all. It sucked. I told him that he was not a real man, that my son Silas showed me what it means to be a real man. Months later he wanted to get together, and has cried to me about how he made a mistake, blah blah blah. I tell him, "yes, you really did F*** up, thank you." I don't need this, and you don't need this. You will get through the pain of this. As we both know, we have witnessed the end of our world as we knew it with the loss of our children. Nothing can be worse than that... My heart goes out to you my friend. Take care, as best as you can.
Lisa, I had one of those days where the pain felt like someone hit me with a sledge hammer, it did literally take my breath away. Three months ago from today, is when we lost my son, Zach. I keep reliving that horrible day, over in my mind and can't stop it. It has been like I have been in a horrible nightmare. I still don't think I have truly accepted it. I wouldn't wish this kind of pain on anyone. I have lost so many loved ones, and my husband and I used to say, we didn't think we would be able to go on if we ever lost one of our kids. Then when it happened it was too horrible to even believe that it was real. They weren't going to let me see my son, because he had fallen 80-100 ft., but I told them that I had too because when my brother died, I didn't get to see him. I had dreams of him coming back and telling me it was a terrible mix up that it really wasn't him. When I saw Zach, all I could keep saying was that it didn't look like him. The other day it hit me, I think I have been kind of some how hoping that since it didn't look like Zach to me, that maybe it really wasn't him. I know that sounds crazy, because I know it was him, but I guess subconsciously I was trying to pretend that it wasn't him and that it was all a horrible mistake. I don't know how we go on with our lives again. It is so hard to picture the holidays or vacations or anything without him. Zach's birthday is on the 16th, he would have been 24. I can't get over the fact that I got to become 54, and how unfair life can be that my son will never get to get married, or become a father. I think that is sad for all of us, that we had so many hopes and dreams for our children and then those are all taken away from us in an instant. My prayer for all of us is that we can find some peace, and pray that in time we can cherish those happy memories and think about that without feeling so much pain. You are in my prayers. Robin
Hi Lisa. I know exactly how you feel. I have been trying so hard to just keep putting one foot in front of the other and I think I am really trying so hard to avoid the truth. Saturday will be three months since my son, Zach, had his accident. When I stop and am not busy for a minute, I start to replay that day all over again in my head. I feel exactly like you said then, it literally is like someone just punched me in the chest and takes my breath away from the pain. I can't believe that I will never be able to hug my son again. I would give anything to be able to tell him I love him just one more time. Some how we will get through this. It does help knowing that others are feeling the same way, and that we are not alone. You and all that are going through the same loss as we are, are in my prayers. Robin
Lisa... So Sad for you today.... I have just cried until the snot plugged up my breathing... took a shower to cry some more.... I have guest coming to dinner and need to now put on my "Happy Thanksgiving" Face... just explained to my husband that I don't do this sobbing for attention and don't think anyone else gets it except for someone like you... I know it is gonna be a bitch of a Day for you... and sounds like you are there all alone.... just know that all of us on here are feeling that today... with or without a house full of people..... and we are here for you today and will be here again tomorrow.....
Lisa,
Your daughter is beautiful. I'm very sorry..I hope you can find peace in knowing that you will see her again someday!
Hugs to you,
Melissa
Lisa, I just saw your photos. What a beautiful young lady your daughter is. The one picture of her between the two pillars made me think of her in the presence of our Lord. I do tend to symbolize things, so please don't think I'm too crazy.
Be blessed, Ann
Dear Lisa,
Your loss is tremendous and I cannot even begin to feel the pain of loosing a child. I have no children. My mother died 3 weeks ago this Monday from that murderer cancer. She lived a nice, lovely life for the most part. Your daughter was taken way to soon. I miss my mom every single minute. She was my everything. We share a birthday and loved shopping and doing so many things together. I have 2 sisters who are just so very cruel and selfish, always have been. So I am alone now. No father, he left us when we were kids. Mom raised us alone. We all have suffered a loss that is life changing, life altering. Most of my friends have given me support but most of them are thinking I should be moving along faster and getting on with my life. My sisters want me to come over and go through her things. I cannot. I read about you all that have lost children. It melts my heart. You were very blessed to have such a beautiful child, I have you in my heart now. Sue