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Comment by MSB on March 21, 2012 at 9:40pm

Rachel, Please don't do that. i know life can be very difficult. Since losing my mother, i would be a liar if i said that i never thought of doing it. But, then i think again and i say, things might get better. I also lost my job and many times i am worried about how i am going to upkeep my expenses. There must be a part of me that wants to live. Get help, there are resources available.

 

Comment by Mary Getsee on March 21, 2012 at 7:50pm

My mother passed Feb 1 of this year and I am totally heart broken. I still wake up thinking Oh my god, my mom is dead! It was sudden. We were close. I am disabled and growing up she was there through everything, hospital stays and defending me when she thought I couldn't defend myself. I havent need her to take care of me since i grew up and started making a life of my own..now I realized I needed her more then I could imagine. She passed just 4 days before my parents 40th anniversary. Up to her last seconds she waited for me to tell her I would be ok....She held my hand through everything growing up and I held her hand when she slipped away.....It was the single most horrible/precious moment of my life!!

Comment by mercy on March 21, 2012 at 4:40pm

Rachel dear, imagine all that we have endured? Surely you can endure this too. There has to be some social services in your area that can assist with things like rent, food, etc. Please don’t give up; we have so much to live for. Contact me by email ASAP. I can see how to help, ok dear?

Be Blessed.

Comment by Rachel Lynn Schuler on March 21, 2012 at 12:12pm

mylife is crumbling thought of ending it today, had the pills in my  hanbd, its not cause of mom, i found out someone is trying to evict me from my apartment, i have no money, my car is broken down, all thse bad problems i cant handle....im ok right now, i just hope i can get through the day....im at the breakingpoint

Comment by mercy on March 21, 2012 at 11:40am

I feel the same way Sandra, in fact, I just wrote that on a different forum. I feel empty, like am just stuck. I cannot accept that mom is gone from this world. Life is just one empty bore........I can't get motivated to do anything anymore. I'm just useless. I work, but just enough to help me keep my job, I take care of my daughter but just enough to get her through the day. I feel all your pain. Life has just completely shifted.

Comment by Hayley Driskell Williams on March 21, 2012 at 11:18am

I am new to this. My mom just passed away on March 2nd and I feel so lost without her! Her birthday was 2 days after her funeral. I don't think this will ever get easier life has changed forever.

Comment by Sandra Nichols on March 21, 2012 at 10:39am

cindi and marlene i am crying as i just read your entries even though i'm at work.. I feel just like you do. It has been 4 months since my mom has passed. I can't imagine life without her and I"m definately not accepting and moving on with this. sometimes i don't think i can make it to work but, other times it's worse being home and sitting there. actually, there is no place where i feel good. i'm losing faith and hope and have no confidence in myself.  

Comment by Melissa on March 20, 2012 at 4:52pm

It has been less than three months that mi madre has left me (I have called her mi madre for years). She had colangiocarcinoma, bile duct cancer. She wasnt feeling well and couldn't keep anything down, her dr said she thought she had an ulcer, the dr sent her home. I finally convinced her to go to ER. They came back and told us she had 40 tumors in her liver. They stated that they couldnt do anything for her. I then realized that I was going to lose my mother. She went through one round of chemo, three blood transfusions, etc. Too much to write right now. On 12/28/11 was the last time she told me she loved me. She went on hospice and my sister and I took care of her. She was not able to move, talk, open her eyes, or eat. I just remeber the horrific memories of the two months that she was sick. I remember the two months of taking care of her and all the horrific moments thats he went through. She was my best friend. We would go shopping, out to dinner, etc. at least three times a week. I was okay for the first month and it has been getting worse for me. Not easier. Each day it get harder and harder for me.

Comment by mercy on March 17, 2012 at 3:45pm

Cindi and Marlene; I can relate to everything you are saying. Sometimes I feel like its a bad nightmare and that I'll wake up. I get into a trancelike state sometimes, where I feel like am not in my body. I get lost in my emotions but my two year old is always bringing me back from the brink. I hate this life, I don't want to go on but I don't want to live my baby without a mother. I wish God could take me and her home to be with the ones we truly love.

Comment by MSB on March 16, 2012 at 4:08pm

Cindi, I have the exact feelings. We were so close, my mom and I. I try to find meaning in my life, but, I can't. It is just so empty and I feel so bad living as an existance. I know she couldn't live forever, but, how do we get through this?

 

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