Hi.  You sent me a friend request a while ago.  I'm sorry it took so long to get back to you.  I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I'm not as computer saavy as I should be, and I did not see your request until tonight - and I'll probably mess us a few times along the way as I try to figure out how to send messages directly to you as a friend, so please be patient with me.  If you ever get really tired of waiting on me cuz I'm being computer ignorant over here, you can send me an email at rksharp@dohickey.net.  It may take me a while to catch on. Thanks,

Marie, So very sorry for both of your losses. I don't really know my dad well so our relationship is very awkward. I miss my mom so much. my older brother and I took my mom home for a month..it was so hard caring for her she was in so much pain..she couldn't move she had surgery on her femur. her cancer spread to her bones so you could not touch her without her crying out. she bled out..and pretty much starved to death :'( It was so awful..I not only lost my mother but also my best friend. She was only 53..I dream about her often at first it was horrible dreams. Now it's mostly memories I have of her. I do believe she has come to visit me in my dreams..One night I was laying next to my son Matthew he's 4 and autistic he was very close to my mother..She used to watch me rock him to sleep and sing to him. that night matthew was having issues falling alseep it was very late and I was dozing off but still aware of my surrounding. (my mother used to come to the side of my bed or rub my leg or arm when she was alive) So that night her presence washed over me very strongly I could feel her there..and a warm hand went up one arm and down then it happened to my other arm it felt electric almost like I got shocked and my arm went numb a second but not a bad sensation it was nice it literally felt like she was comforting me..Cause I was very tired and stressed out.. I even called out I feel you mom I feel you.. and she whispered I'm ok I'm ok..I opened my eyes cause I swore she would have been standing there but she wasn't then her presence went away..and that's not the first time thins has happened a week or 2 after she passed. I was walking down the hall at my brothers house. She used to be in the living room..so as I was about to round that corner I swore she would have been standing there..when I came into the room I felt her and this sadness washed over me..not mine but it was hers I burst out in tears and the feeling went away as fast as it came...but it affected me all night. I moved from that house 4 months ago into our own place. A couple of weeks after we moved I was rocking my youngest..and it was late well I glanced over at the recliner she used to sit in when she was over..I had this feeling she was there that washed over me so strongly it took my breath away..She stayed for a few minutes or the feeling stayed I called out are you there mom? and the feeling drifted away. I don't know if these things have ever happened to you but I truly believe my mom was paying me a few visits. I don't mean to type your ear off but I thought you might like to know these things I've experienced prob gonna copy the last part of this message and put it in after death experiences. thank you so much for adding me as a friend I hope we can help each other heal :)     

Hi Marie,

Thanks for connecting with me. I am sorry for your pain and loss. I understand what you say when you couldn't handle hearing your mom call out. My mom did the same and it killed me to see it. Mom died Monday of last week. She was such a darling. We were very close. My sisters have a lot of stuff they are dealing with of their own and have basically disappeared from my life. Lots of drama over the years between all of us. You would think our moms illness and death would allow us to let go of our issues and join together one final time as sisters. Didn't happen. My one sister sat me down and told me some really hurtful things the day after mom died. It was so uncalled for, so inappropiate. I went and spoke to a Pastor at a church across from my home. He said step back, leave the door open. He said maybe in time they will miss you and WANT a relationship with you. Who needs to ask to be loved? It should just come from the heart.

My husband left me 2 years ago for a younger woman after 20 years together. I lost my home, my business - my self worth. I went back to school at 55 and have crawled out of a very deep hole. Now mom, my best friend is not here. I know she is in a better place. That comforts me. My friends have been so great. Strangers have been so great.

My sisters have planned a celebration of life for mom in Michigan. They e mailed me the time like I was a distant relative. I am to make my own flight reservations and fly by myself even thugh we fly out of the same town. How screwed up is that?

My dad left us when I was a kid, I heard he died a few years ago. So how is that for an opening story....Sue

Hi Marie,

Thank you so much for your kind words. Some days are sort of better but really every day is a struggle. I want me boyfriend back! I want to wake up from this nightmare!

Does it ever get better?