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Comment by Judy on November 23, 2012 at 11:36pm

I feel the same way, Tammy. Thanks for the good wishes.

Comment by Tammy B. on November 21, 2012 at 10:22pm

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I'm most thankful for having the best mom God could ever give me and although she's gone now, her spirit is always with me and I'm so very grateful for that.....love to all of you and Happy Thanksgiving to all the kindred souls out there who are without their mom's physcial presence this holiday season.

 

Comment by Mary on November 20, 2012 at 11:05pm

Brett, God says "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong." I understand where you are coming from, I really am not looking forward to Thanksgiving or Christmas, but my mom loved those Holidays. I am going to celebrate them for her.  The one thing I always tell myself that helps-my mom lost her mom when she was 37, I had my mom until I was 51, my mom lived 40 years without her mom-she never gave up, she never stopped living, even though I know she missed her mom dearly because they were as close and my mom and I were.  So I am going to be ok.  Yes I am going to cry, have bad days, but I am going to be OK.

Comment by Mark on November 20, 2012 at 10:58pm

@michael I don't know if this will help in regard to your bday but here's what I did.  I didn't really feel a need to celebrate it or even think about it.  I moved around it if that makes sense?  I asked my closest friends to please not make an issue of it and just respect that request.   I told myself this entire year is a year of learning how to cope and in the future I'd allow friends to celebrate my bday.  My bday was huge to my mother.  In fact we use to joke that it was more her day than mine because she started celebrating at midnight and didn't stop until the entire day was over.  I'll cherish that always but this year I just needed it to pass quietly as if it were just any other day.  For now.  I also daily struggle with what my daily purpose is now that she's gone.  I do have a focus on what I could contribute and make a difference if I remain on this earth.  So I try to find that bit of hope when I am constantly asking myself whats the point.  That and knowing my mom would say it's not over yet keep going.  Hope that helps a little.

Comment by Mary on November 20, 2012 at 10:55pm

Rachel, all I can tell you is to place it all in God's hands.  As for advice, if the medication is not working and you are not happy with how you are feeling, seek a second opinion, ask the doctor if you were his daughter who he'd send you too and go to them. I know all I can do is say a prayer for your healing. God is merciful and full of grace. GOD, I ask you to have your hand on every person who comes in contact with Rachel, and allow only excellence be surrounding her. Keep her in your safekeeping. Bring her what only you know she needs. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

Comment by Mark on November 20, 2012 at 10:46pm

Chasity I can't remember my mothers voice either.  I want to so bad.  I was waking up hearing her calling me but that stopped.  I thought I was going coo coo for co co puffs.  I don't like at all what I've been feeling this past week.  It feels like impending doom based on being forced to go back one year and address what I blocked out about last year when she was dying at this time.

I wish you all well and hope you find the strength to deal with this holiday season.  I've learned a lot this past year and the one thing is that there is something so primal hidden inside of us we do move fwd even though it feels like it's through mud and tar and gunk.  I just really want the holidays to hurry up and go by so I can get this weird feeling about last year away from me.  It's too much to revisit in detail.  I think I'm going to volunteer at a shelter on Thanksgiving.

Comment by Judy on November 20, 2012 at 9:38pm

James D -- It's a good idea to do something if you can, but I won't lie to  you: My birthday was a heart-breaker. My mother always made a big deal out of my birthday, and all of that was just gone. It only drives home how much you miss her. But! Although it was really hard, by the time it was over, I felt a sense of gratitude somewhere in there with all of the sadness. I'll be thinking of you.

Comment by michael sandoval on November 20, 2012 at 9:32pm

DEar Rachel,

I will say a prayer for you.

Love,

Mike

Comment by chasity carter on November 20, 2012 at 6:25pm

On April 07, 2012 I lost my mother. It was/is very hard. On October 28, my birthday my best friend lost her battle with cancer. This year I learned I had a strength that I could never fathom. I try to remember my mother's voice but I can't....I try so hard. I love and miss her as well as my friend.

Comment by michael sandoval on November 20, 2012 at 6:13pm

@ Brette, He's God.  I feel the same way.  Miss my mom. 

@ James,  I just did my first birthday without Mom.  Nov. 1st.  It was horrible.  I'm just saying...  I went out to dinner with friends, but it was still horrible.  Just remember how wonderful your mom was and that our Moms still want whats best for us.

God Bless,

Mike

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