Not looking forward to Christmas
It's been a long time since I've posted a Blog on here but I am not looking forward to Christmas I am notBecause the people should be here it's no longer hereSee More
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chasity carter
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- Callahan, FL
- United States
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All over a stupid grudge...
3 Replies
Hello, I am new, My mom recently passed away, April 07, 2012. She had a massive heart attack, her heart was enlarged, she had a blood clot, and her liver was degenerating. I held a grudge against her…Continue
Tags: grudges
Started this discussion. Last reply by Becky H Sep 13, 2012.
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Profile Information
- About Me:
- Yeah... Hi I guess, I'm Chasity. I blow my candles out on October 28. I am going to college right now to become a pharmacist. I don't care what you think of me and never will. I'm no where near perfect, I do not think I'm better than anyone. I'm really sarcastic so don't take me all too serious unless I'm in a bad mood...then I'll just be a bitch, I have trust issues so if I trust you wow you must be special ;) I don't like it when people judge me but everyone does it anyways so I guess there's no point. I don't like to get close to people for I fear getting hurt or hurting them. I play the guitar :D have for two years now. I also play the piano and clarinet. I love animals more than people most of the time, I am how I am so don't expect me to change for you because I won't even consider it! I am quite confident, but not snobbish or arrogant. I am not vain or conceited, but I do know I am beautiful. I am the loud, outgoing type; I'm a very nice, friendly person and try to treat others the way I want to be treated. Some people think I'm a bitch, I will admit, I have my bitchy moments but if you mess with me or someone I love, I will give you a reason to call me a bitch. I love my family and the very few friends I have more than anything in the world; they're the people who keep me going. I like almost every kind of music but I mostly stick to techno, rock, and heavy metal. I'm smart and clever. I have A LOT of blond moments and I'm slow so just give me time I'll get it :) The only things I want out of life is happiness and to love and be loved. When my time comes I want to be able to feel that I didn't just exist, but that I actually lived. Don't rush me I'll go slower just to piss you off and I hate being told what to do because I do what I want when I want. I'm not your dog or some shit so don't treat me like it, I'm outgoing and have my own sense of humor which is mostly dry and sarcastic and I'm honest in a harsh way, I have a big ego if you try to break it down good luck with that I wish you the best ;). I am not like how I use to be. I know better now. I know now that lies hurt everyone. Including yourself. Promises can be broken as quick as they are made. I understand that I might never be loved, and quickly good things fly in front of my eyes before I can reach out and grab them they are gone. I know that I can't change or help time, so every now and then it will just run out. There isn't a place for everyone in the world, so if you're standing alone for awhile, that's why. Not everything in life comes easy, but when you work the hardest, that's when it's the best. You can't always expect people to care, and even when your best friends stab you in the front, don't think for one minute that they didn't already aim for your back. They missed for a reason. I have found out, that in the end, you are your own best friend. Everyone will be broken at some point in their life and more often than not, it's gonna hurt like hell. But you can't stop it. You can't change your fate. Some things are meant to be and all the pain you go through will end up resulting in something huge. You don't know what it is and when it happens, it will hit you like a ton of bricks. At some point, when you have experienced everything you can, the words 'Life' and 'Risk' won't mean anything to you anymore. But don't try and change that. Stuff like that is meant to happen. Overtime, certain things no longer have an affect on you. And that happens because that's the way it supposed to be. I ask that you don't ask me about my past, if you were or are ever planning on it, I won't answer, I'll just switch subjects. Anything you want to know about me, feel free to ask, I will answer truthfully unless it is too personal - TADA!!
- About my Loss:
- My mother, just 53, passed away April 07, 2012 She had a massive heart attack, blood clot and her heart was enlarged.
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I'm so sorry that, that happened! If it's one thing I've learned about the grieving process, is that, there is a lot of people who have regrets..more so than others. I know mine haunt me everyday, from the moment I wake up to when I finally fall asleep at night! I can tell you this though, the memories will come back in time, a couple at a time. Right now, I don't have a lot but when I'm in a 'ok' mood and look at pictures from the past or anything that my mom loved, some memories slowly come in. I think the reason why I have a hard time, remembering a lot of memories is because I miss her soo much, my heart literally hurts! I'm here if you ever need to vent, because you are not alone!!!(:
I read about you having a gruge with your mom, mine was kind of like that..I've have a lot of anger due to something that happened in my past, it wasn't my mom's fault, but I thought that she could have stopped it. I loved my mom but I never took her seriously, like she did me. She told me she was sick but I thought she was being dramatic, she even went into the hospital twice but I didn't take it seriously..I was still being a butt, then she went into a coma and never came out of it. I so regret the days leading up to her going into the hospital. I wish I would have been nicer and let the past go!:/ I'm 22 and feel completely alone as well!