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Comment by Kristin Renee on May 30, 2013 at 10:50pm

So very sorry for your loss, Muuna. You and your mother should've had so much more time together.

Comment by Muuna on May 30, 2013 at 10:47pm

My mum, my best friend, my "partner in crime", passed away on Wednesday 27th March, 2013 she was 46 years old. I am HEARTBROKEN!!!!!! It hurts so bad. I feel so disoriented. I'm 21, I will never heal. She is all I've ever known, there is no place we did not go to together. There was balance and now there is none. She was basically killed, the post mortem revealed that the surgeon cut her rectum instead of a fibroid that he did not even remove when he was supposed to. I don't want to dwell on that because she is gone and she will not come back. I cry every morning as reality hits me in the face when I wake up. I miss her terribly my spirit is crushed, my throat is constricted, my chest is empty, my heart is so broken that its not even there. I will never be the same again, my heart is forever broken. I have never and will never know such pain as the pain I know now. I wouldn't wish this pain on my worst enemy if I had one, its too severe.

I feel for everyone here on this painful journey. I feel bad for everyone feeling this pain. No one should have to go through this.

Comment by Kristin Renee on May 30, 2013 at 10:36pm

Thank you, Mary. And a part of me knows you're right and that my Mom wouldn't want me to blame myself but I had been so sure that I was going to help her get better. Thirteen years ago, in my junior year of high school, she was in a car accident that left her disabled and I dropped out of school and dedicated my life to her. I'm so lost now that I can't take care of her anymore.

Comment by Mary on May 30, 2013 at 10:26pm

I am so sorry to hear of you loss Kristin.  Please don't blame yourself, as I know that no mom would want their child to feel they held any blame in their passing.  There are always going to be those "woulda, coulda, shoulda" moments, but the best thing you did is love her and care for her. It won't seem like it now because her passing is still so new, but it will become easier to deal with the loss as time passes. I could never imagine me being in this place last March 2012 when my mom passed.

Comment by Kristin Renee on May 30, 2013 at 10:10pm

Thank you, Jeff R. I feel especially responsible because I was the last person to see her the night before and what if I did something wrong or I missed a warning sign somehow but I also place blame with the hospital for releasing her the night before she passed. She was quite obviously not ready to come home! We still don't know what exactly happened. The only mercy is that it appeared that she had just gone to sleep and she had told me once before that was how she wanted to go someday. It should have been decades from now, though . She was robbed of so much happiness that she deserved and my heart is forever broken.

Comment by Jeff R on May 30, 2013 at 4:54pm

I am terribly sorry for your loss Kristin; 60 is very young, IMHO. And, It's really tough when you are in a care-taking role of some sort.  When it abruptly ends you feel like you have failed somehow, in some unknown way.  And then you suddenly don't know what to do with the newly found time in your schedule, which you had previously dedicated to Mom.  I feel your pain.

Comment by Kristin Renee on May 30, 2013 at 1:46pm

My Mom, my anchor in this world, my home, died unexpectedly on May 8th 2013. We had just celebrated her 60th birthday on April 22nd. She and I shared a special bond and we talked multiple times a day every day and I would see her nearly as often as I was her caretaker and she lived right down the road. My life was devoted to helping her achieve a better life and I feel that I failed her in the worst possible way. Words cannot express my sorrow and regret. I miss her so much and I can't believe I have to wake up every day and realize again that she is gone.

"All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel Mother." ~ Abraham Lincoln

Comment by michael sandoval on May 29, 2013 at 11:41pm

Dear Jeff,

Happy Birthday to your Mom.

GOD Bless,

MIke

Comment by Mary on May 29, 2013 at 11:31pm

Cynthia, I truly believe our moms can hear us and talk to us.  My mom and I had agreed on a sign long before she passed away, after another near death experience she went through and I received the sign the day after she passed away.  I hear her in my head and truly believe it is her.  Just the other day my best friend was at moms house sweeping the deck off and her dog was laying in the yard with his ball.  She turned to sweep some more and the dog's ball was on the deck behind her.  I think it was my mom playing tricks on her-she loved to kid around! My mom used to call me at 7:30AM on my birthday and the first birthday after she passed the phone rang right at 7:30 AM and noone was there.

Comment by Hannah McMurphy on May 29, 2013 at 9:38pm

I just watched the concert for the Homeland(help for the OK tornado victims),Vince Gill sang the MOST beautiful song,it is called "Threaten Me With Heaven"...it touched my heart,and by the way Vince Gill was my Mom's favorite singer.

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