Well it's been a few weeks since I last wrote. It's not that I don't think about him, but I think I'm all cried out and everything I wanted to say was said I guess. However, that being said I am writing because this has been a difficult day for me, even more so tomorrow. Tomorrow would have been Eric's 40th birthday. The one he did not want to spend alone and was hoping to be here already with me.  I heard from his niece that they are going to go out and celebrate it next weekend. Wish I was…

Received Eric's stuff today in the mail that his sister had sent me. I must of known it would be here today. I felt nervous all morning and was thinking about it. Part of me was scared to open it because of the emotions that would come from seeing, touching smelling his stuff. I went through the book he was writing in to me. It was obvious how much he loved me, and how much he was looking forward to our future. This makes me so sad and frustrated. I don't think I will ever find anybody like…

Today was a bit of a bad day. Might have something to do with going back to my regular shift which means I worked alone and had time to think. So hard getting use to not checking my phone for messages from him. Im a bit upset because I feel like I need to talk to someone but I dont have anybody to talk to. Nobody on my side gets it, or understands what Eric and I had. So they think I am ok or that I shouldn't be upset. That I only knew him for 7 months and that I never met him in person.…