Well it's been a few weeks since I last wrote. It's not that I don't think about him, but I think I'm all cried out and everything I wanted to say was said I guess. However, that being said I am writing because this has been a difficult day for me, even more so tomorrow. Tomorrow would have been Eric's 40th birthday. The one he did not want to spend alone and was hoping to be here already with me.  I heard from his niece that they are going to go out and celebrate it next weekend. Wish I was there. I wanted to do something too, but what? By myself? I couldn't think of anything to do by myself :(

Funny thing is though, after I thought that I wasn't really getting any signs from him. Here I was sitting at the dinning table doing homework and all of a sudden I could smell his shirt, which is upstairs! Then I kept smelling and the scent got stronger!! I burst into tears and started talking to him. Am I going out of my mind, or is it him? I haven't smelled his shirt in a few days ago, so it's not like I have the scent in my nose still. I had to go upstairs and re-smell the shirt to see if it was the same. As I write this I still get a faint whiff of it. Is it possible?!! Is he here to celebrate his birthday? Although it is not officially his birthday on my end, but it is on his end of the world. 

Is it a coincidence that the same song that I got him into listening to keeps wanting to play on my ipod? Out of 3000 something songs?

I would like to plant a tree or something in his memory, but I would like it to be somewhere where I can go anytime. He loved pears...maybe I should plant a pear tree! lol

Happy Birthday my beloved Eric! Wish we could celebrate it together :(