Today is the 3rd anniversary of my husband passing away. It feels like the last 3 years I've been stuck in a long dark tunnel unable to move forward or backward. They say "you only die once." But in my mind my husband has died 365 days a year for 3 years. It was to the point I couldn't sleep. The doctor kept upping the dosage of zoloft but there was no relief. 

This year, 2 days before christmas, I had enough. How much stress can a person take?  I lost my husband, I lost my job at the…

Since my husband passed away on 1/6/09 I realized the other day, I don't smile, I don't laugh and I sure don't feel. I don't feel happiness. But I can say, when I start to think about him, I feel pain and the tears come and don't want to stop.

I watch tv.and if its supposed to be funny. I don't think it is. I changed everything that I used to do right down to the type of music I listen to.

I feel sometimes, I just don't know how to be me without him.