Comment

Comment by Nancy on February 12, 2020 at 6:59am

I love that explanation Linda!!!

Comment by Linda Engberg on February 12, 2020 at 6:25am

Comment by morgan on February 11, 2020 at 3:47pm

Jen,  I agree. I would hate to waste all this suffering if it screws up my transit and reunion with the other half of my soul but how much is one person supposed to endure?  I am a blinkered mess. I look like I function to others as I have gotten better at pushing myself but there is NO joy, no happiness and only pain when I think about my love and his for me.  I am SO tired of being in pain.  And I don't mean necessarily my physical pain which I have from the stress of the grief.  I mean the mental/emotional pain of getting so little relief from missing him.  I can push it off periodically but it always comes back and punches me in the gut and then I have a breakdown and even though it relieves some of the pressure that builds it doesn't make me feel any better.  I am tired of having to make do all on my own.  Just extremely tired.  And I know all of you get it.  Our minds simply never stray far from what real living was like........the times we cherished with our soulmate.......

morgan

Comment by JenShep on February 11, 2020 at 12:43pm

I feel the same way Linda. But, I've had so many experiences that make me pretty sure there is one. I'm afraid to have wasted all of this suffering for nothing. If there is an afterlife/reincarnation, to kill myself now will mean I'll have to learn the lesson in another life since I didn't learn it in this one. There's no way I can do this again. So, like most of you, I just pray that I get to go soon. 

Comment by Joe Kelly on February 11, 2020 at 10:13am

I think I'm going down hill and very hopeful that it won't be too long now.

Comment by Linda Engberg on February 11, 2020 at 5:28am

Hi Morgan,

I know how you feel. Day after day without my Husband, I wake up every morning and hate that I am still alive. If I was given real proof there is no afterlife, I would do away with myself. 

Comment by morgan on February 10, 2020 at 11:48pm

I don't want to live without him anymore.  

Comment by Linda Engberg on February 3, 2020 at 6:25am

Joe,

I pray there is an afterlife. My Father always said when your dead your dead and he was one smart man. 

Comment by Joe Kelly on February 2, 2020 at 1:55pm

Linda,

YOU WILL SEE JULIAN AGAIN!

Comment by Linda Engberg on February 1, 2020 at 2:14pm

Thanks Lisa & Michele for your comments. Beside the wonderful friends on the site, the only other person I can share what I feel is with my Wonderful and Caring Psychiatrist Dr. C. I have been seeing her once a month since my Husband died 7 years ago. Because of her I have been able to function in a world where I don't belong. Like you Morgan I am just waiting to be taken from this horror. Having my sweet girl Babie J by my side has been a Godsend. She now is on hospice due to Cushings  and Dementia. She is getting the best quality of life but is slowly declining. It is like watching Julian when he approached death. I don't know how I am going to deal with her death, as Dr. C said it will hurt as much as losing my Husband. Like you said Morgan all we can do is hope to be taken from this life soon. 

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