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Comment by Joe Kelly on October 9, 2019 at 10:30am

Yes Elynn, the loneliness.  That's painful.  They're not here and always was.  Our best friend, lover, and most precious thing we had.  We were lucky enough to spend the last 8 1/2 years together, joined at the hip.  Went and did everything together.  We were never alone.  Now we are.  We had a few couple friends but they disappeared after she passed.  We are reminders to what could  and will someday happen to them.  Out of sight, out of mind so to speak.  There is no substitute for what we lost.  As Peter, Paul & Mary sang "For I know they'll never be another you".  So here we sit lonely.  Even when going to the store, the doctor, vacations, or anywhere (which we always did together) hurts without her being sitting next to me in the car.  Yes, the children work and the grands go to school.  They have lives.  All I have are great memories and loads of pics playing everyday.  I go to the cemetery every day just to be close to her body.  Walking from room to room at home is full of memories never to be repeated.  It's all just part of our loss and hurts.  Would had been 50 years married on December 3rd and close to 53 years together.  There's no do overs.  God, how I wish we could go back in time.  All we can do is hope that our time will come soon and we'll be reunited with them for eternity.  Till then we suffer.

 

Comment by Elynn m on October 9, 2019 at 12:21am

I've had a rough few weeks.   August 31st would have been our 45th wedding anniversary.   September 27 was year 4 of my husband's passing.   It's pretty lonely around here.  Its difficult to talk about, because i dont have close friends around me to talk to.  I don't like to bother my kids with talking about my feelings.   Thankfully, I have a good friend in another state who I can call and talk to.  But the pain is still there.  I just need to talk..  

Comment by Joe Kelly on October 8, 2019 at 10:26am

Every day for me is the same day she passed.  Not a joyful or even an ok moment.  I spend a little time with the children and grands and do my best to hide my emotions, but they all know how I am inside, even the youngest grand at age 4 seems to know.

This month, two years ago, was the last golfing month together.  Next month two years ago, she got sick.  Then in December, we would had celebrated our 50th wedding anniversary.  Then in January, she passed.  All this plus the holidays coming, I don't know how I'll handle it all cause I can't handle anything on any day since she passed.

All I can do is wait in agony till I go to Her.

Comment by Linda Engberg on October 8, 2019 at 6:04am

Morgan,

I feel the same as you. My sweet dog Babie J is nearing the Rainbow Bridge. I wanted stay on this earth for her. Once she passes I will do nothing to save my own soul.

 

Comment by morgan on October 7, 2019 at 11:39pm

I wonder how i am managing.  Not well and to be onest today I wanted to just set a date with death. I am approaching seven years of being without him and though I function towards the outside world better and my crying has lessened but at the same time eerily deepened I am exhausted by moving through space without reason.  I have nothing. No purpose.  Just doing not being.  I am tired of staying here.  Will I last?  Only time will tell.

Comment by Linda Engberg on October 7, 2019 at 1:51pm

What a horrible price to pay for love. 

Comment by Linda Engberg on September 26, 2019 at 8:09am

Comment by Linda Engberg on September 11, 2019 at 6:16am

Today we Remember 9/11. I can't even imagine the terror and heartbreak the families must still have. Losing my Husband Julian under normal circumstances was bad enough. 

God Bless all the people that still suffer from this horrible attack. 

Comment by Trina Mamoon on September 10, 2019 at 5:19pm

Dear Morgan,

Thanks so very much for your supportive letter. Sorry i didn't see it before. I replied to it just now, Sending you love and good wishes.

Comment by Linda Engberg on September 10, 2019 at 7:17am

Thank you friends for sharing your thoughts. I don't know what I do, if I didn't have this place to come to. We are all suffering and the real world just doesn't understand what we are going through. I miss the tender touch of my Julian, his love, his support, the sharing of life together. I am nothing without him. I just want him back and I know I cannot have him for the rest of my days. The life I am living is useless.

   

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