He is gone and I cant get him back

I walked into the bedroom 2 months ago to tell my husband to come eat his supper was ready. I found him dead I had just seen him about 2 minutes before and had no idea he was suffering in pain. He died of a massive heart attack. We were married 33 years and together 37 and I cant seem to find joy in anything. I throw out a laugh but inside I am so upset. I dont know what to do or where to go is crying all that is left?

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Permalink Reply by Stanley Ruiz on August 20, 2014 at 3:19pm

I AM A GAY MAN AND I LOVED ANOTHER MAN  FOR 47 YEARS SINCE COLLEGE DAYS AND WE WERE BUILDING A HOUSE FOR OUR RETIREMENT YEARS AND HOMEI INVADERS ENTERED MY HOME   MY PARTNER CAME TO MY ASSISTANCE AND   ENTERED THE HOUSE WHEN WE WERE ASLEEP .I WAS SHOT THREE TIMES AND HE  THE SAME GUY SHOT MY PARTNER TWO TIMES IN HIS HEART..I CAN NOT BRING  RAFFAELE BACK BUT I HAD THREE VISIONS OF HIM AND I KNOW HE IS STILL HERE OR WITH  THE LIGHT OF GOD.TALK WITH OUR CREATOR AND PRAY  . /I WILL PRAY FOR YOU STANLEY

Permalink Reply by dawn larvan on August 20, 2014 at 3:26pm
Hi marine me too :( lost the love of my life 12 weeks ago fit healthy. 50 yr old on holiday,said he felt funny and died of heart attack in front of me so,can't believe it so know how you feel no kids,so all alone don't,know what to do but,I know I will get,through,it for nigel because he would want me to wishing you all my love and,strength. Dawn xxxx
Permalink Reply by Michelle H on August 20, 2014 at 4:18pm

Maryanne, I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband. Last year, my 41 year old son died very unexpectedly while on a cruise with his wife. Supposedly from a massive heart attack. I feel your pain.

Permalink Reply by Rachel on August 20, 2014 at 4:22pm

Maryanne, I am so sorry for your loss.  There isn't anything anyone can say that will make you feel better.  I am 2 month into my greiving.  I lost my only child suddenly. She was the only beauty in my life.  As I'm sure your husband was your world.  We all know and share the hurt, pain, lonliness, emptiness and uncertainty you feel. 

I also wonder if this is all that's left?  I just can't see it getting any better ever.  Just know we are all in this togther.  I am so glad to have found this site.  It's nice to talk to people who understand our turmoil.    I send you tight hugs and prayers from accross the miles.  All my love Rachel. 

Permalink Reply by Stanley Ruiz on August 20, 2014 at 4:43pm

We are all in the same position .We all suffer and it will never be the same .Part of our hearts has been taken away from  us and we  have to continue living and that is what the  loved ones that we buried want us to do.  IT IS HARD and almost impossible but we must continue our journey and light a candle along the path Stanley

Permalink Reply by Wander on August 21, 2014 at 8:41pm

Oh, Maryanne. I'm so, so sorry. I wish words could make it better... I can tell you, 19 weeks after my precious husband and soulmate left us suddenly and unexpectedly, that there are no words to fix it. I know what you mean about not being able to find joy. I've reached a point where I can put on a mask, smile at things occasionally, even laugh, but none of it touches the massive void inside. I feel as though I've lost not only all my joy but any hope of ever having any again. My whole future died with my husband. My life ended, but this stupid body keeps going. 

Peace to you... I really am so very sorry.

Permalink Reply by vinnie perez on August 30, 2014 at 7:35pm

I'm so sorry, I do know how you feel, I was married to my husband 33yrs and together 40yrs, all I do is cry. Sometimes I think what is the use of getting out of bed, even though I have a large family and friends , I just feel alone and the odd one out as I am the first to be widowed.

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