Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by renee collier on May 22, 2012 at 11:23am

Thanks for your reply.  That must have been so painful for you to witness.  Well its good that working is helping your get through it.   I keep telling myself.... he would want me to continue on and live my life and be happy.  But I feel so lonely without him.  This is by far the most difficult time in my life.  But I know I have to keep going for my 16yr old daughter. 

I guess we can both be thankful for this website :)

again thank you for your sharing

Permalink Reply by Joanne Welch on May 22, 2012 at 2:16pm

Just wanted to let you know you're not alone.  My husband died on that same day and I know exactly how you feel.  I'm trying to go on because I know he would want me to, but sometimes I feel like I don't want to.  I don't think there's anything I can say right now to make it any better, except just know that you're not alone.  

Permalink Reply by renee collier on May 22, 2012 at 7:24pm

I'm Sorry for the loss of your husband.  And thank you for responding to my post. Your words are helpful and comforting.  I am really glad that I found this site.  It helps me stay sane.

I feel the same as you... I don't want to go on without him. 

Permalink Reply by Joanne Welch on May 22, 2012 at 8:32pm

I'm sorry that you're going through this.  I don't even know how I've made it this far.  I miss him so much.  I've been put on an antidepressant and I'm going to a grief support group to try to help.  It doesn't help that I'm so far away from my family.  I'm glad I found this site too.  

Permalink Reply by Lynne M. on May 22, 2012 at 9:38pm

So terribly sorry for your loss and, as you can tell, most of us here completely understand, as we go through the same kinds of things.  My husband died on March 27th so I've had one more month of trying to cope with all this and I still have good and bad days.  This past weekend was especially bad, as it was his birthday - one of those awful "firsts" that are bound to bring everything right back up to the surface.  I guess all I can say is that it does seem to get better, in that I have far more bearable days than bad ones.  You're right - it does suck - no doubt about that; for all the reasons that you mentioned and for so many, many more, as well.  But you're also right that you have to go on and it's important that you finish your education and carry on the plans that you made.  Your life goes on and the anxiety attacks can't stop you - remember, they're uncomfortable but that's all - they won't really hurt you.  I was married for almost 41 years, had a great marriage and there was still so much more that we wanted to do together - but it simply wasn't to be.  So now I have a new phase of my life to create and I am absolutely determined to do just that.  It's too early to think of other relationships but I'm not going to rule out the possibility at some point in the future.  But, for now, my feelings are too raw and too tender and I have to grieve the loss of this love before I can even begin to consider the possibility of ever having another.  All of your feelings are perfectly normal but try to keep in mind that they will evolve over time.  You won't always feel this same intensity of pain and that is the hope and belief that we all hang on to in the beginning.  My heart goes out to you and I wish you all the best as you navigate this particular journey.  Things will get better.  Best Wishes, Lynne

Permalink Reply by renee collier on May 22, 2012 at 11:20pm

Hi Lynne,

First off I want to thank you for your wonderful words.  You have given me some good insight.  YOu are so right my panic/anxiety attack will not kill me although it may feel that way. My birthday is this Friday and before he passed away I  made plans to go out to dinner with family and friends.  I almost canceled it but I  heard his voice say..."honey go and celebrate your birthday, I want you to be happy"  and so I will keep my plans to go out with my family and friends.  I'd figure it will be better than staying at home being depressed.

I'm not looking forward to those "first time" events without him

I think that is very positive that you can see yourself one day in the future, being with another.  I am not there yet and not sure if I will get there.  I guess all I can do is take it one day at a time.

again, thank you so much for your sharing with me.

Take care