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July 31, 2011 my little sister died..she was 17, going to graduate this year and join the airforce. She was my best friend the one person i talked to every day..she was my oldest sons godmother..The week of july 25 she went with her boyfriend and his family to north carolina, we live in florida and it was sumthin she was looking forward too..When the police came to the house they said that she had slipped on a rock in the river and hit her head and for some reason her boyfriends family couldnt get her and she drowned...it was such a shock to me that she died that i had dropped my 3 mnth old son and passed out..The next day i recieved an email from my cousin and it was the story from the county she died in and thats when we found out how she really died and it said she was crossing a popular swimming hole were there is a waterfall and she slipped and fell off the waterfall 15ft and got stuck between two rocks and was held down but the rapids of the waterfall..and after i read that i couldnt breathe or anything i rember being on the floor on my knees and my parents comming asking what and i pointed to the computer..

After that day i havent been the same i miss her so much i feel empty..i have two boys and i fake smile for them and act happy for them..but im not..i cant move on i feel the same as i do as the day i found out. i cant sleep more then and hour or two now..i work all the time just to keep busy my eyes have even started twitching from lack of sleep but everytime i sleep i think of her...i cry constantly sumthing reminds me of her...and i dont even talk to people who i have been friend w for 17-18 years with..i just dont know what to do ne more...and jan 10 im supposed to go to a candle light memorial for her birthday but im already not funtioning well and i dnt know if i should or not..

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Permalink Reply by christianlee on December 25, 2011 at 2:39pm
I'm very sorry. My heart goes out to you.
Permalink Reply by Bianca on December 25, 2011 at 9:00pm
I'm so sorry. I am very familiar with that excruciating pain. I lost my fiance July 21st of this year and I still can't comprehend it. I don't know how we are suppose to bear it, yet somehow we are, we continue to function even.though we are suffering every second. Peace, light and love to you.
Permalink Reply by nadia on February 2, 2012 at 10:24am

I  am feeling your pain.. I miss my sister more than anything.. my soulmate and besets friend... try to keep brave face for my twin boys but hard not to break down... it is now 8 months and the pain goes on... I am not sure how to continue life without her... always thought we will grow old together.... thinking of you... nadia

Permalink Reply by Sue Waxman on February 17, 2012 at 1:40pm

Dear Cassandra,

I am so very sad to hear what happened to your sister. When my mom died I did not want to attend her memorial in Michigan (I live in Florida) but in the end I did go and I am very very very glad I went. It was hard but I felt I needed to do it. I think I would have regretted NOT being there. Remember this...she is still your sister. She is just in another place ahead of you. It was her time to go. When and how we leave this earth is not up to us. You will  be reunited with her when you time comes.

That could be any time, any day. She is where we all WANT to be. There is a life after this life. Some people go there when they are just babies, some teenager, some live a very long life. For those of us left behind it is torture. We MISS THEM! There is a gigantic whole in our lives. Your children deserve and need a healthy mother to care for them and nuture them into GREAT human beings. Until your time and day arrives - give them all you can. Your sister is in very good company right now. Don't punish yourself with grief forever. We grieve as we love - DEEPLY! I am here for you my friend. Hugs Sue

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