Cassanra, I am so sorry for your loss. I have not lost a sister, but I lost both my  parents, my brother, a nephew and my son, Zach, died on September 3, 2011. I know what you mean, when you say you used to be happy but it is so hard to imagine that happiness every again. I promise you will happen. I know that I will never be the same person again, but I also know that Zach would be so sad if he knew that I didn't go on with my life. I have a friend who lost her son, 7 years ago, and she told me she had to decide to either give up or be a survivor. She has been a great inspiration to me, seeing that she has been able to go on and actually be happy again, even after losing her son after he was murdered. I too have chosen to be a survivor. Some days I don't know if I will be able to go on, but I know I can just take it minute by minute. I can do a minute at a time, if I have to. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs to you. Robin