Hi Lara

I hope  things will slowly get better for you.  I hope you can reach out for help, it is something your mom would want you to do.  I am going to my second bereavement class. I cant say that it has "helped" yet,  I think the mere fact that I am going is what is or has been the real triumph. It is sort of an act of faith that  things might get better and taking a step in  trusting outside of myself.  I hope I am explaining it right.  It is more of a feeling I have that it is the right thing to do.  I know as much as my mom would want to be here, I know she wouldnt want me  here  by myself away from family just being sad.

I say that because I am sure your mom would feel the same way.  Things are very confusing right now, I know.  I just hope you can  take that initial step when you are ready or on a day you are feeling a bit stronger than usual and do one thing that  scares you.  I have been trying that.  It doesnt always work, but sometimes it does.  I just  hope that by taking this mindset that when I look back a year from now  that I feel better than before.

Take care Lara, and  keep reaching out.

Sincerely,

Joni.