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Comment by morgan on March 21, 2015 at 1:01am

JohnT- you ask, why didn't you leave out all the rest?  Because we need to express our pain.  I do it constantly.  To everyone and anyone.  I want the whole world to understand how important another human being can be to the flow of our life.  

I can tell how hurt you are and how those little Lenox bunnies were just the perfect trigger for asking once again to yourself- why?  There are millions of those triggers.  And they can turn up when we least expect it as well as the more obvious ones.  

I know of some relationships where I wonder if they would feel like I do about losing my husband and obviously how you feel about losing your wife.  I can't imagine not feeling any other way but I think some people move on.  I am now at 26 months and I may be alive and I may be doing what I have to do to live but I am dead inside.  Nothing gives me joy.  It is all empty.  I try hard at this point not to bother anyone with my grief because by now everyone thinks I should be fitting in.  When I have to do things I pull my mask on real tight and get through it but most often my new goal is to position myself so that I can just be a recluse. I don't want to deal with others.  This site and a few others are the only place I can talk out my feelings and not be judged.  

I am glad you told Lenox what and why they could stop sending the ads.  It makes a difference.    We do what we can to release the energy built up inside us that was formed as a continuous circuit from the love we had.  People need to know more about love not less.  They need to know how important love is.  If there is anything I feel about this journey of grief it is I want everyone to understand you can't be whole without your other half.  I want to let others know there is no time limit for how long I am going to grieve the loss of my husband and that I need the space to be able to express how I still feel.  Maybe, just maybe, it will help me and as for others I guess they can listen or turn away.  I just feel better getting it out and I am going to keep doing it.  I want to remember my husband not put him on a shelf and take him down periodically and dust him off.  He was my life force.  I miss him, terribly.  And now I will quit writing because I feel the tears coming.  Keep talking about Diane. It will keep her alive in your  heart.

Take care.