Comment

Comment by morgan on April 1, 2015 at 1:23pm

The days that mark special occasions are very hard.  They bring to the forefront all those memories of past times that we found joy.  Now we have none.  Just existing.  I am now going on 27 months and I can honestly tell you that until I hit the two year mark I had no way to clear the path of the pain.  Now I find that days are just a blur.  Instead of seeing life in days they all just become moments.  Thats it.  I was trying to find a way to make sense out of this and answer the whys.  I no longer find that necessary.  I am now losing all contact with reality.  Periodically I get to doing something more than reading and posting which is a connection to reality but overall I find myself slipping away from the concern of my loss to a somnambulist state where absolutely nothing matters.  Eating, sleeping, showering etc….none of it matters. It is different than where I used to be.  I am not even trying now more and more.  I was trying to assuage my guilt by showing those who care about me (to the extent they do)  I was trying.  Now I don't have any guilt.  Nothing is moving me.  Kind of sad really.  I used to be such a different person.  Death buries more than one person.