waiting

I find myself running to the phone when it rings, hoping its shawn, telling me hes coming home,  he loves me.  when I pick it up most of the time they don't talk, just breathe.  I wish with all my heart it was my son.  why do people do this, every dam day we get it.  I miss him so much,   I feel so dead inside. without shawn theres nothing to live for, nor do I want to any more.

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Comment by Sharon on August 16, 2015 at 9:10pm
Kim,
I've been thinking about you, wondering how you are doing. It's been 6 months for me now. Pain is still there. When I get those phone calls, I pretend that it's Troy sending me a hello from heaven.
Laurie,
I feel the same way. Every day brings me closer to seeing Troy again. I would never hurt myself, I just miss him so horribly.

Hugs,
Sharon
Troy's mom
Comment by Jesse's Mom on August 16, 2015 at 7:06pm

It is so very difficult...I say to myself everyday "This is not my life"...some moments are still very raw...my son and I were very close...I do not desire long life either but will not make any efforts otherwise...the only thing better about yesterday is that I am one day closer to him...we had many deaths after his in a row...I can say that deathbed visions are real...until my release from here, I will always have my "bags" packed and ready, always waiting for him to come back...perhaps he will bring my infant son too....

Hugs.

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