today is 21 months, there are times when it feels like 10 years ago but most of the time its like yesterday. today is worse , as im sitting here crying my eyes out again, im begging shawn, god and my mom to not let me forget my sons voice, oh god im so afraid ill forget it. I beg god to take me now, please please help me, shawn take me home, take away my pain please. I miss you so bad and love you so very much. I don't want to be alone anymore, I want my baby, I want to die. god help me   .