Yesterday I dreamt about you Mom, you were in bed as in your last days here, but maybe you weren't sick you were just waking up. It wasn't our apartment, but a different one with a nice view. I said hello to you and you replied ''Hello Daughter''. Then I got nervous because I knew I hadn't seen you in so long so I told you I loved you. You told me you loved me too. I can't remember anything else. Getting up today wasn't so awful as it usually is.

 It's weird Mom, for the last day or two I haven't had that heaviness in my chest that I've had since you went away. Just a feeling of emptiness. Life is a bit like a desert I'm in now.

 I think about our life together. I can't remember many things. Guess it's because back then it was just my daily life and I wasn't thinking that I should remember everything because one day you'd be gone.

 I remember when we were in an elevator at the hospital, a nurse was carrying you, for some reason they had you on a wheelchair, and you told him ''This is my daughter''. And he said that yes, it was obvious since we had the same face. We do look a bit alike, although from your old pics from when I was a child I can see you had a more delicate and pretty face than mine.

 We also have the same voice, or very similar, Mom, several times when I picked up the phone and answered people called your name.

 So this is what I ''inherited'' from you. Physical traits and also my personality, you shaped me. I like thinking that now I have to live for the both of us.

 I feel better now than I did in the first days. But I still call out to you and tell you that if you want to came back, I won't tell anyone. I hope you are not laughing at how silly I am. I miss you so much and can understand what they mean when they say ''Live one day/minute at the time''. Contemplating all the years that are yet to come and you won't be there, is unbereable.

 I want to believe that you are still with me in a way, but I'm not sure. I know you'd be by my side if you could. It's just that many times in the days this bitterness overcomes me, that if you hadn't had that surgery you'd still be here, that if you hadn't fallen that day, you' still be here, that if I had noticed you were unwell the day you died you'd be here... Was it God's will to take you away, was it your time, or it was just that your body gave up and that's it?

 Mom, I love you so much and feel like a child without her mom. I wish you'd come back to tell me it's alright.