Since mom died I have felt that I'm just existing. I can relate to many posts I have read in here, that describe how people feel empty, like a shell of what they used to be, just going through the motions, etc.

 I don't really do anything meaningful these days. I go to work, I eat, sleep and breathe. I'm living because I have a body that's still working, but nothing else. Now I don't have anyone to take care of or anyone to take care of me.

It feels sometimes that I could vegetate in front of the tv for ever. My mom was the one who made it all worth while. I find myself wishing I could ask her things I never asked and now I won't have the chance. I'd like to know what she though that happens to us after we die. I'd like to know if she was happy when she was here. If my father was the love of her life... so many things that I never thought of asking because we were just living, not thinking about life and death.

Now she's gone and I do have some family but still feel I'm alone in the world, just existing. I miss her so much. She was a huge part of me and now she's gone I don't know if there's enough of me to go on.

If someone's reading this, sorry for the self pity, but that's how I feel most of the time.