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Comment by rachel_micele on September 27, 2015 at 11:03pm

"I want people to ask me about my memories of him, I want them to tell me memories they have, but nobody wants to talk.  I don't even care if it makes me cry and breaks my heart, I just want to know that someone else remembers him."

I totally get this.

Comment by bluebird on September 27, 2015 at 6:28pm

Karen,

Sometimes the other people in your life may not realize that you actually do want to talk about your husband; sometimes they think that they will only be bringing you more pain if they talk about him.  Have you actually told the people close to you that you want to talk about him with them? If not, consider doing so.

In a way I have been lucky, in that my family (parents, sister, brother-in-law) understand somewhat how I feel.  My Dad holds out hope that I will feel somewhat better someday, though I have told him that will never happen.  They understand that I will always be grieving, that I will never "get past this grief", and that I will never be happy.  As far as other people -- well, I don't give a damn what they think about it.  Why should you waste your time trying to convince them that your grief is on your timetable, not theirs?

It's good that you are living in the house you shared for 27 years. I know that must make it easier in a way, and harder in another way, but in any case I envy you that.  My husband and I lived in an apt. together for a few years, then we moved and were only in our new apt. for about 6 months when he died, then I lived there for another year or so before the owners/landlords divorced and sold the house (we were renting a separate apt. within a larger house), and I had to move out. So the apt. in which I live now, while nice, is not one in which my husband ever lived with me or even set foot.

Anyway, I hope you are able to find some people who know your husband and who are willing and able to talk about him with you. I hope you are able to find some measure of peace.

Comment by Rolando Dela Cruz on September 25, 2015 at 1:02pm

Hello Mrs. Olson, I want to say how awesome to be with with him for 27 yrs., your memories of having been together for 27 yrs. is so wonderful but having someone to share with is not easy for they don't want to see you hurt and feel they had caused you to hurt even more but if you say to them that you just want to know that he is not forgotten might just help in finding someone to, share, I also have the same situation and I hope I am not out of line for what I said If I am I sincerely apologize, keep seeking and you will find.