today I went for a small boat ride with my cousin her husband and mine. I thought it would be nice to get out but I was so wrong. I wanted to scream, and cry, all I could think about was my shawn, I knew he would have liked it.  I prayed he was with me. I tried to smile but it was to hard, I just wanted to go to bed and cry. my only dream is to be with my son, I miss him so much love him more then I can say.    love you forever shawn   mom