shawn its been so hard without you. there are times I know you are here, but I still feel so very alone. how do I go on? I cry so hard and long everyday. god how I miss you, I miss the things you use to do, I miss going out with you, and cooking you a dinner, sat and sun I miss picking you up from work. hearing your voice and I want so bad to hear I love you mom. I need to dream of you but I don't, im so afraid you wont come home but I tell myself you will, when god fixes your beautiful heart.  im so mad at god for taking you away, you are my life my love forever. im so proud of you for being the man you are, I pray each night I wont wake up, ill be with you. theres nothing more I want in life but to go. I need you shawn, please don't leave me. forever  my heart is yours   love mom