mourning

I have had three sudden and tragic deaths. My mother answered her door to help a stranger. that stranger pulled out a knife and stabbed her to death.  her face was slashed. she was found by her boss when she didn't show up for work.that was april 11,1989.  20 years later they finally put him away for 65 years. we were happy and releived we could put mom to rest. November 22, 2009 I lost my oldest son.he was 32 and on a bicycle was hit by a big pick up.my heart is in a million peices. I think I am on autopilot alot. my family was chaos. Thats when i fell over the edge. On May9,2011 I lost my youngest son derek  was killed while doing some community service. I  he was 26 he had a baby son 18 months old. and a twin. I think I am catching up on tears. tears are a sign of mourning .there was no good bye. Horrible things happened  its something you can't fathom I am expected to be better its been a year.. the doctor has given me pills to take the edge off.  I am pushing people away. hurts as much today as it did then miss my family alot. i am thankful for the family i still have. love the grandkis. i see derek little boy alot.

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Comment by Cheryl on August 12, 2012 at 5:31pm

Dear Susan,  if I could do anything to relieve your pain I would but I know there is nothing I can do except offer my prayers.  I know that sounds small sometimes, prayer that is.  But really it is the biggest and the best thing we can do for one another.  God knows us intimately and He loves us thorough each other.  Today, I just pray that you are able to have some level of peace, that the memories you think about will be the sweet ones.  I am so sorry for what you are going through.  Feel free to leave me a note.  I'm here if you need to talk, ok?  God bless you, Cheryl

Comment by Debra Waszut on August 10, 2012 at 6:37am

omg I am so sorry for your losses.. You seem like an incredibly strong person.  I lost my husband almost 12 weeks ago and today is our wedding anniversary.  He was only 54 and passed from a sudden heart attack.  I still can't believe he is gone.  I have lost a lot of family in the last 10 years also.  None of it has been as bad as loosing my husband.  If you can go on so can I.  I am living my life in his honor because he was such a good man.  That is all we can do.. Live in their honor.

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