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Comment by Angel on August 19, 2012 at 7:45am

Hi Susan...Iam so sorry for your losses...I am approaching the 15 th anniversary of my 21 years old daughters death and lost my husband to lung and bone cancer 18 months ago on my deceased daughter's birthday....I have contact with my other 2 daughters and thier families, one friend, and I have met a man who has had as much heartache as myself just in a different way so he understands...other wise I go through my days the best I can and only goto these people for support...I have been hurt enough over the years with know it alls telling what I should or shouldn't do...there are no right and wrongs with grief..it is individual to our own needs...and don't let anyone tell you different. Anna is write you are broken hearted and boy does that hurt...I went to grief groups , read, talked to hospice workers  and sat on my bed and screamed for God to take the pain away....even new widows that I met turned into people who need and want it all their way...day by day....minute by minute and sometimes second by second...I wish you peace of heart and mind....Angel

Comment by anna l. on August 17, 2012 at 8:16pm

Im so sorry for all you are going through.  I too am suffering from the loss of my middle son and then a year later my husband of 30 years.  People who think they know what is best for us and tell us to get on with it are sooo lucky they do not know what we are feeling but that does not give them the right to tell us what we are doing is wrong.  There is no wrong way to grieve unless that is giving up completely and ending it.  Everything up to that is just what we need to do to stay alive.  You are not a cold hearted person, you are a broken hearted person!  I wish I could just wrap you up in an understanding hug!!!!  I hope your ex bf just leaves you alone and doesnt do anything to make a bad situation worse.  I also hope things work out with you in regards to a job etc.  It is soo hard.  Just so hard....