Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
I wept when I read this poem
This first person I thought about sharing this poem with was my son, Jack. He wrote so many poems and songs. I've spent much of the past few weeks picking up the phone to text message or call him.
Perfection Wasted
And another regrettable thing about death
is the ceasing of your own brand of magic,
which took a whole life to develop and market -
the quips, the witticisms, the slant
adjusted to a few, those loved ones nearest
the lip of the stage, their soft faces blanched
in the footlight glow, their laughter close to tears,
their warm pooled breath in and out with your heartbeat,
their response and your performance twinned.
The jokes over the phone. The memories packed
in the rapid-access file. The whole act.
Who will do it again? That's it; no one;
imitators and descendants aren't the same.
"Perfection Wasted" is taken from John Updike's Collected Poems 1953-
1993
Perfection Wasted
And another regrettable thing about death
is the ceasing of your own brand of magic,
which took a whole life to develop and market -
the quips, the witticisms, the slant
adjusted to a few, those loved ones nearest
the lip of the stage, their soft faces blanched
in the footlight glow, their laughter close to tears,
their warm pooled breath in and out with your heartbeat,
their response and your performance twinned.
The jokes over the phone. The memories packed
in the rapid-access file. The whole act.
Who will do it again? That's it; no one;
imitators and descendants aren't the same.
"Perfection Wasted" is taken from John Updike's Collected Poems 1953-
1993
Views: 181
Comment
-
Comment by Robert Tinsley on May 16, 2009 at 5:21pm
-
ive lost four children in the past 24 months and even though i have a new baby almost here i feel the most horrible pain , the loss that i would never be ready for i will never be the same person again ,people tell me that i should be healing by now but im not and know in my heart that i will never be able to be that person again i miss them all so badly it seems that i block it out at times because ican not hold the pain and i mean that litteraly they were each so special and each one was different you know i need to download the stories to my page from the newspapers but i cant look at them they are my worst reality (they are really gone)son,daughter does it really matter?love is the most painful emotion i have maybe soon i will be able to download the pictures and story but not yet
-
Comment by Diana, Grief Recovery Coach on February 6, 2009 at 6:51am
-
Wow, love this poem. And it is so true. NO ONE can replace Jack.
I never understand when people say: They can have another child - You can never replace the person you lost. Each and Every person is unique. Never can they be replaced.
Thanks for sharing this poem.
Groups
-
Traumatic loss of an onl…
37 members
-
Loss of a loved one to a…
4 members
-
Being the Other Woman/Ot…
45 members
-
Grief Counseling
141 members
-
Sibling Loss
10 members
-
Losing My Sister
5 members
-
Losing a Sister
94 members
-
Funeral Service
2 members
-
I miss my Mom!
751 members
-
LESBIAN ..GAY 2 SPIRITE…
15 members
-
Loss of a child In memor…
29 members
-
Too Young To Die
17 members
-
Multiple Losses Group
324 members
-
Zoom Grief Support
39 members
-
Orphaned Adults
80 members
Latest Activity
"I lost my husband overnight that it happened so fast that I still can’t accept that he’s gone."
My Fathers Loss
Many years ago, I lost my father after his battle with colon cancer that later spread to his bones. The grief stayed with me longer than I expected. Ambrosia Behavioral Health helped me work through that loss, understand my emotions, and find healthier ways to cope and move forward. https://www.ambrosiatc.comSee More
"Professional help gives you a safe space to talk, understand your emotions, and learn healthy ways to cope. It can make grief feel less overwhelming and easier to manage over time. https://www.ambrosiatc.com"
© 2026 Created by Ninja.
Powered by
You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!
Join Online Grief Support - A Social Community