I have no idea how someone is supposed to feel when they've lost a child. I didn't realize how many of my thoughts were wrapped around my children--especially Jack since he lived with me. It's hard to participate in the reality of life. And even with all the folks who are keeping contact with me and trying to encourage me to keep going, I feel desperately alone. Work helps, but I am exhausted at the end of the day. I spend the day with a tight jaw and stiff neck, working 110% to keep the wild feelings away. I need to work-not just financially but emotionally-so I'm just going to have to live with taking Advil every evening, I think.