Today's the 4 week anniversary of my son Jack's death. I feel like I've been trudging through chest deep muck. And seriously, it feels either like I've felt this way forever or for a few hours. I can't believe that it has been 4 weeks since he left this earth. I'm journalling notes to him most nights. There are so many things that happen each day that I would normally tell him. It's hard to see his friends at the grocery store or gas station and know that their life is going. I almost resent it. How can their life be normal when NOTHING, NOTHING, NOTHING is normal?

I think I go through my days pretending that Jack's at school or at work or play rehearsal. It's impossible for me to live in the reality of 'never' and function anywhere close to normally.