I pray  my heart beat would stop. then I could take my sons hand and go with him, to hold him and never let him go. to see my mom again after 33 years, I would hold them so tight . I could smile and laugh once more, if I could just be happy again. I feel it will never happen. please shawn answer my questions, hear my crys.  I need you shawn, I want so bad for you to come to my dreams, I have not had a dream since you went away, soon it will be 10 months,  we have never been apart that long ever, I smell your clothes every day  that's when I feel you are close to me. I wear your watch and ring, again to feel you with me.  but most of all my beautiful son I pray for my broken heart to stop. to be together again.   loving you with everything I have, missing you more each day.  pain that will never end till im with you. please god take my heart so I can be with my shawn, give me this one thing in life I ask for. give me my freedom, please