today my husband went to help a friend at 3 this morning, being all alone hurts. I cryed all morning, then I went to see my son, talking to him and crying my heart out I feel hes there hearing what im saying. I water his floers and wipe off his stone, like I do everyday. how can my heart keep breaking, I know theres nothing left. I see people that look like him and it takes everything I have not to run and hug them, instead I just cry. the phone never rings any more, friends never come over, family stays away to.  and people wander why grieving  parents take there own lives to be with there  children. I cant see the future without shawn,   I cant wait forever for him to take my hand,  I miss my baby so bad, everyday gets harder and harder to  go on,  I have never been so tired, and so very much ready to go to him,    god take me from this pain im in. its just to much to handle. im not strong any more,  you took the love of my life now please take me to him.