yesterday we had a lot of company, it was kinda nice, till one asked, hows shawn. I heart fell. I went into the house and cryed. I guess these days will come but I just cant deal with it. one of shawns friends next door got married last night,  it really was a hard night for me and cryed myself to sleep. god it hurts, I miss him so much, I just want to be with him, im so ready to go please.

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