For the past 12 years I have driven by that bridge that crosses a reservoir. Never going over the bridge but telling myself that it would make for a great run/jog across. I even mentioned it to you a few times. Always looking for a new place to hike or just be outside you would have thought that I would have done it by now. Guess I can now check it off my list.

I got a phone call while I was driving and needed a place to pull over. There I was at the end of the bridge. After I got off the call I decided to go for it. The sun was bright and the wind off the water was freezing. From the road it looked like the walkway was wider - its just enough for two people to walk - two thin people.

I was dressed in winter coat and fleece socks but it still cut right through. The wind wouldn't even allow me to lift my head and I felt myself tip forward trying to walk on. Looking down I saw the water moving roughly. Were you there with me? Was it you pushing me towards the barrier so as not to get too close to the railing? Or was it the wind?

Since you have been gone I haven't gone on any hikes - nothing more than a stroll around our block. There is no energy left and I feel that it's something very personal to do. Personal because it was like a separate religion for me -to walk/jog/hike. Now things that are too personal have been put on the back burner. I only made it half-way across before I turned back. Not sure if I will ever go back - not sure if I will make it all the way across.