it seems like such a long time, but its like yesterday, what I would give to hear his voice, see that beautiful smile again. I sit here crying my heart out again, the feeling of being so alone covers all of me. I hope he hears everything I say to him all day everyday. I wish I knew for sure. every Saturday I would pick him up after work at 4 and go shopping, god how I miss doing that . the pain takes over my body like fire, I don't want to live like this, I want to hold him again.everyday I pray to hear the word  MOM , knowing ill never hear it again. this is not fare to want so bad to die and he wont take me. this is worse then hell.